Saying Something...

Okay, so today is the day. The day that I release the mute button from my thought expression. I've been considering blogging for some time now and I've decided to give it a "GO" today. I have a lot to say. A whole lot to say about many things, but I'll choose my topics and breathe in between words wisely. I'll say what I want to, how I want and when at my leisure and you- accept it just as it is!

From about age 3, I can remember being told that I talk too much. It never bothered me until I got into middle school when I grew tired of defending myself in physical altercations. After setting a verbal appointment to fight a neighborhood friend whom I wasn't really angry with, I began to believe that maybe I do talk too much.

As I kid, I knew the importance of keeping your word. I had that fight that I really didn't want to be involved in, simply because I told so many people that I was going to. It wasn't brutal nor was it fun. We gave the neighborhood more mess to talk about, but she and I lost a great friendship. Neither of us wanted to fight, but since we talked about it, we mutually decided that we had to "BE" about it. Too bad neither of us spoke up before it happened.

Since then, I've allowed my quiet nature to lead many of my decisions that involve dealing with others on various levels. This has worked for me personally, professionally and academically, but I'm now tired of being quiet. It seems that I unnecessarily analyze probable outcomes for something I might say. When I think too long about it I end up saying nothing at all. Then I just wonder... (what if I had shared what I was thinking).

I remember hating to just wonder. I'd rather know. True.