Imagine. Manifest.

I am a Queen. Somehow, I had forgotten. I was reminded this week by one of GODs Angels and I promise to never forget again.

Much of what I've been imagining about is within my reach. I will do what's necessary to achieve what my heart desires.

Going To The Beach!

"Wade in the Water"

I LOVE the beach. Looking out over the ocean reminds me of GODs amazing presence. HIS water is so powerful. Men can dig holes and fill them with water creating manmade lakes, but they cannot in any way alter the sea.

At the age of 7-years old I was the youngest person on swim-team. I can hardly believe that clear water exists in the ocean anywhere. I'd like to swim there. It has always felt safer swimming inside a swimming pool. I believe that we're supposed to explore/travel through the ocean to discover newness and to plant holy seeds.

My personal field-trip today is long overdue. Nothing will prevent me from getting there today. I may even rent a bike and ride on the bicycle path to get some physical fitness in.

Spring Break officially begins tomorrow for my daughters. So I'd better enjoy this day to myself. "I can" feel hard work soon approaching; stemming from my own determination and persistence.

GOD ALMIGHTY!!! 

A Shift. Must Occur.

I've begun "something" that I've been considering doing for a while now. Yes, I destroyed some CDs from my extensive music collection. I have more to get rid of, but I'm proud of my start.

Over the weekend, I went to my friend's mix-tape release party in downtown Los Angeles. Dawn Gun and I have been homegirls since 1992. Time has run its course and we have our own lives, but what remains is a shared love for our friendship regardless how much time passes in between our meetings.

I thoroughly enjoyed being in the midst of The Sistem Crew this past Sunday evening. Dawn Gun is a collaborative member in the all female emcee's group. I'm so proud of her for staying on track with her dreams of becoming an emcee.

The difference between she and I is, that I lost focus with my personal pursuit of accomplishing some of my dreams. I stopped singing all together. I still have a voice, but my desire to use it as before has changed. I'll allow it to accessorize everything else that I'm about to embark upon.

I am ready to be part of a needed change. I realize now, that if I continue to play music with messages belittling women's worth, I'll never have the confidence to define all the woman I am. I'll also need to be a better example for my two daughters. No longer will I purchase, listen to, or promote music that doesn't positively inspire me. It makes no sense to continue doing so.

Besides, there are so many talented artists delivering positive messages through their music. I am not the only one who realizes that the negative instructions being given in some of these songs are being followed by many of our youth. We can't blame the radio stations for playing the music they play, however, we can collectively, be more aggressive with creating positive music to inundate them with.

Please read (entirely) the letter that Sinéad O'conner wrote on March 22, 2012. I thank her for her bold statements and taking time to help encourage our youth. If she can stand up against what's blatantly wrong, what's stopping the rest of us from making righteous contributions to society?

THIS Is: MY Day!!!

Period. Say nothing. Simply write.

My LORD!!! YES.

IT hit me today. I had an epiphany. Very soon I'll be gradually pulling away from my old ways. There IS a freedom waiting on me. I do want to be renewed completely.

I have no reason to be nervous. My FAITH in YOU is the strongest shield I'll ever have and the best protection from all "things" unknown. YOU have a plan for me and I now see my outline. THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER ALMIGHTY GOD!!!

I am tired of half-stepping with my actions. All the wrong "things" that I've accepted quietly can be no longer. I will regain full interest in the simple "things" that used to make me feel well and vibrant. I understand, that I got caught inside the clutter of society, but I'm AWAKE now!!!

LORD, I FEEL YOUR PRESENCE within, near and around me. I LOVE my comfort in YOU JESUS!!! I am honored how YOU'RE positioning me.

YOU'RE telling me I'm ready. I know what "to do" and how YOU want me to do "it." The yearning is so over. Squaring up!!!

I've been waiting on "this" day. To realize... THANK YOU LORD!!!

Real News. What Now?

All week I've been in research mode. Much of the information I read tested my emotional state. The theme of disappointment and disgrace that's occurring in recent news is underlined by racism.

I saw a documentary titled "Sing Your Song" based on Harry Belafonte's hollywood career and personal life. Seeing how he was treated by the  media for his participation in the "Civil Rights Movement" and how some of his fans felt about his biracial wedding helped me to realize "something."

Those thriving within the entertainment industry with the power and wealth to revitalize "The Movement" either don't carry the same passion that Belafonte (and others) had or they're unwilling to take certain risks, that may affect their lifestyles. Celebrities do have the power to help the public take a stand and sometimes "this" power is needed to reach the masses. They have extensive access to channels of communication, which can broaden the awareness of an issue or a message to "the people."

A recent news story has gained national attention as it should've. Unfortunately, it's another senseless killing of a Black teen, Trayvon Martin. The handling of his case is a troublesome reminder... 

(click on Trayvon Martin for story details)

It's been almost 44-years since Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. The Movement is still a "work in progress" with much needed attention and repair. The Civil Rights leaders who made the biggest impact in this country, helping us to achieve many of the equal rights, which we're all entitled to; have either died or are aging beyond their physical capabilities to stand strong within the righteous fight for equality.


What are we going to do? Me and You. Who's going to stand-up and lead? We better. Where are the fearless fighters who'll follow to ensure civil rights and justice for all mankind? Stop hiding. How will we help our children become leaders of the next generation and new world? Plan now.

I'm Feeding. My Intellect.

For a while now I've been thinking, that I should read more. Of all the books on my bookcase, I can't even say that I've read half of the collection in its entirety. I LOVE reading magazines, but I'm out of the loop there as well.

I seem to have been led "to do" my recent reading online. I've been carrying around two books inside my outing bag for over a month and have not taken one out to read yet. One is titled "The Portable MBA" by Dallas Murphy and the other, "Man With No Name" by Wally Amos with Camilla Denton.

Both books contain insightful and informative content. I'm strongly considering returning to school to pursue a master's degree, but maybe I'll get just what I need from reading how on my own in the meanwhile. I like "Famous Amos Cookies" so when I saw the cover of his book which read: "Turn Lemons Into Lemonade," it peaked my interest. I wanted to know what his story was and how it relates to "Famous Amos Cookies". I still do. 

Over the past 2-weeks I've sat down at the computer "to do" other "things" aside from blogging. I am reading, just online, which is a little surprising for me. I'd rather read from pages of a book. A real hard copy with paper printed pages, that I can fold. I can hardly believe the amount of hours I've invested into viewing information on a computer screen.

With all that I know, there is still so much for me to learn. What I'm really enjoying most with my online reading is having the ability to research online content so quickly. I suppose, as long as I am reading informative and relative content, that "it's all good."

Wise Wednesday.

Oh How: They Grow.

It was time to reward my youngest daughter for consistently remaining on "Superstar Blue" at school. Her parent conference isn't until this Thursday, but I'm sure she's in good standing as usual. She's been playing with her older sister's teddy bears and wanting one of her own.

There's no shortage of toys in our home and sometimes "I do" think twice about purchasing more. Toy manufacturers have gotten quite creative and it's alot more about the shopping experience at the store rather than getting the toy. Children are easy to please so why not go the extra mile serving them?

Two companies with children as their primary target audience do extremely well keeping kids interested. I know "this" from personal experience. Take American Girl or Build-a-Bear, for example.

At "American Girl" we had lunch inside their cafe. Children can play and dine with their own American Girl doll or use one provided by the diner. They can also bring their dolls in for spa and salon treatments. Some locations have doll hospitals and 1-hour photo studios. Cute, right? Very much so.

I hadn't been to "Build-a-Bear" since my eldest was about 7-years old. My youngest got her very first introduction there yesterday evening. There's a stuffing station where she was able to help stuff the Build-a-Bunny, that she had chosen. She had the option to select whether she wanted to have a soft or firm feel. They even have a little grooming station where she gave "Flowy" an air bath. How darling of a place and how sweet to see my daughters interacting so lovingly together.

I just LOVE my daughters!!! How BLESSED I am to be their mother. Lucky me? Fortunate!!! :)

All Right. Back!

I'm unable to relive yesterday. There's no way I can get back into "it" physically to do "anything." I can only remember what I did and/or what I experienced and find peace with all parts of the memory.

Peace can be found!!!

I remember feeling really bored last week. Yes, I was bored with writing my blog. Believe "that?" Shamefully true.

It seems, that since reaching posting my 100th blog I've lost momentum. Stay with me. Seems is what I stated. Laughing humbly.

I've come too far within "this" personal commitment I've made to blogging. No matter how difficult, regardless of how bored I get with "it;" I have an obligation to myself, which I am very committed to.

So there is the explanation for last week's loss of words. Of course, I had to touch down at the very least, but not just "that." I needed to feel what I posted and each post from last week provides a glimpse into my emotive state for that particular day. I'm so glad to begin a new week.

GOD IS SO GOOD!!! If you don't know, you better find out for yourself. GOD IS REAL!!!

Thank YOU JESUS!!!

TGIF!!!

I made it through another week!

I THANK GOD for "this!!!"

Mind Full.

Taking some time to examine my thoughts...

Wednesday. Very Well.

"Food for thoughts..."

Briefly. Bluntly.

GOD IS...

In control.

One Statement.

"To GOD be ALL the GLORY."

Hallelujah!!!

For the 100th Time!!!

Here I am: Now with 100 blog entries. I remember procrastinating for so long about getting started. I'm glad that's history. There are no interferences allowed when I blog. Anyone who's been in my presence while I do knows, that I get bothered if I'm disturbed.

Having been so committed and consistent for "this" long, I felt the need to celebrate my diligence today. I did so by getting foot reflexology for the first time. It wasn't quite the relaxation I was looking for, but a beneficial experience.

I slept really well last night. I'd like to exercise more consistency getting into bed earlier so that I will enjoy a full night's rest nightly. I know I've thought and said "this" at least a hundred times...

"I can" commit. I have proven "this" to myself with this blog. I actually did it. It's no longer a thought, but a fact, that I'm a blogger.

How meaningful is this? Very. Simply because I'm doing "something," that I wasn't sure I'd ever do, but wanted to. I got past desire right into action and I've now found passion for it. This is just incredible.

I am ever so happy about posting my 100th blog today! 

Thank you LORD!!! :) 

A Thankful Thursday.

Around this time last year, I was concerned whether or not I'd successfully complete my final semester at CSUDH. My motivation was very low and my eldest daughter was attempting some unnecessary teen antics, which made it quite difficult for me to concentrate on my schoolwork.

I dropped one class 1-week after the semester began. Due to dealing with a family emergency I missed taking two class finals at the end of the semester. Fortunately, I had done well throughout the entire semester in those two classes so I still passed each.

It's really amazing thinking about all of the wonderful "things" GOD does in my life. Some professors wont pass a student if they miss the final exam regardless of how well they scored on assignments during the semester. Only GODs GRACE allowed me to earn an A in one course and a B in the other. I'm so grateful for having professors who had compassion for my family's circumstance and for not penalizing me when they had the power to.

Today, I finally picked up my degree (diploma). I did fulfill the necessary academic requirements to earn my bachelor's, but I owed a debt to my school. It's funny and not, that I just let "it" sit there in a file cabinet inside CSUDHs Office of Records and Admissions for almost a year. I figured it'd be safe there until I got to "it." Shaking my head and laughing out loud simultaneously! 

No one can take my knowledge and education away from me. I will need the "official document" for some reason or another in the future, right? Who knows? HE does!!!

My document cost me $694 because I dropped that one class. I fell 1-unit below full-time status and was penalized by my school for doing so. Rules are rules, but come on all ready. I just THANK GOD for making a way financially so that "I can" now have what's rightfully mine in my possession.

Got credentials? 

I do. It's not so much the earned document that matters. It's the steps involved and the lessons learned on a chosen path in order to accomplish a goal:

• Deciding "to do" something.
• Discovering how to do "it."
• Being proactive by taking the first step.
• Following up. 
• Following through.
• Overcoming challenges.
• Believing in oneself.
• Maintaining motivation.
• Remaining receptive.
• Keeping goals in clear view.

The ten bullet points above are only some "things" to consider when in personal pursuit of obtaining "official documents" that validates an earned accreditation.

Wednesday Wonder!

I can hardly believe that I'm approaching -posting my 100th blog. I'll have "to do" something special in recognition of. I am proud of my efforts and my blogging journey has really only just begun.

Since "this" is my very first blogging journal I've decided to keep it tailored for a general audience. There are many other "things" that I'd like to write about. I'm not quite sure what I'll tap into next, but I have a few interesting ideas.

Perhaps, I'll write a book. Who knows? I may be offered the opportunity for it to be transformed into a screenplay. My former scriptwriting professor Dr. James Sudalnik, used to say "no one in hollywood knows nothing." Meaning, industry standards only limit those who give up. He said, "all you need is one shot."

With anything, all any of us need "to do" is simply try. Willingness and willpower work well together. Being willing enables power. I am a witness to "this" experience.

Try something new and/or different. Give "it" a fair chance with worthy effort. Revisit and learn.

Buckle Up. Accelerating!

I LOVE to drive fast. This passion has caused me to get more speeding tickets than I care to mention. I've always felt that I could've been a successful, professional drag racer if I had chosen the proper training path to do so.

It feels like I've been coasting along in life on cruise control for a while now. Instead of pushing myself to work through some uncomfortable situations/circumstances, I've chosen to just remain content. Obviously, in many instances "this" is completely okay, but in others not so.

Fighting my own procrastination feels like a never ending battle. Some days "it" really kicks my butt and I surrender to "it." I'll say it's about time, that I win "this" personal war and quickly.

I'll practice until "it" becomes a habit to be proactive in every area of my life. GOD IS continuously steering me in the right direction. I must do more than just ride along. Shifting into high gear as I blog!!!

Funny Spending? Really Is.

When I think about quality versus quantity the first "thing" that comes to mind is cost. How much is "it?" I try to rationalize my spending based upon how much money I have at that moment. Keeping in mind, that my net worth is probably negative according to government statistics...

It really depends on the product. For example, I use many kitchen trash bags because we take the garbage out daily and sometimes, multiple times throughout the day. So I purchase kitchen trash bags from the 99-cents Store. Yes, the quality is cheap, but I feel like I get my money's worth. I don't need "heavy-duty" or any other special quality from a kitchen trash bag. Well, there is a brand of trash bags with a particular scent that I'm attracted to, which is why I continue to purchase "it." Quantity over quality; for the kitchen trash bags at least...

Fashion is tricky for me. I like comfort and I like nice. Until I get into better shape (by my own standards), I refuse to spend crazily on clothes. I justify my spending on clothes by how great of a deal the purchase is in regard to cost. I'm unable to shop exactly how I'd like, but I make due with what "I can" and "that" feels great!

I was just thinking about my spending patterns today. It seems like the more money I have to spend, the less I buy in quantity, but purchase higher quality items. When I'm nearing my last dollar it seems like I spend for quantity over quality. Shaking my head...

Field Friday.

Moving Forward. With/Without.

Last year, I wanted to go to the Steve Harvey Hoodie Awards. I was unable to because I had only been working at my previous job for a little over 1-month. It didn't make professional sense to ask my employer for a 5-day weekend so soon after being hired.

This year, I am planning on going to the 10th Annual Steve Harvey Hoodie Awards. My mother and I went to the 2010 Hoodie Awards Show in Las Vegas. I have no idea who'll join me this time; if anyone at all...

I've been feeling like a big baby for the past few years. Only because I haven't really ventured out on my own as I used to during my late-teens and early-20s. I'm not sure exactly when the shift occurred, but I now act like I can't really go out by myself.

Of course, there are factors for me to consider. Late night partying involving anything other than virgin cocktails should not take place (out on my own). Going to an ATM alone is risky anytime of the day and meeting someone, that I don't know at an unfamiliar location is a definite no-no!

Who says I can't treat myself to dinner and/or a movie though? I had no problems doing so in my younger days. I can hardly believe that I reached a point where having companionship became a requirement for me to get out, go somewhere and have fun.

I do believe "more than one is fun." It just doesn't make sense to miss out on doing something and/or going somewhere, that I really desire. I've voluntarily missed out on many events simply because my friends couldn't go, afford it, had no interest, and my decision to not "go it alone."  

Every since going to see that matinee last week, I'm feeling so brave and independent. Just like I used to feel. I even purchased 1 ticket for two different events at this year's Hoodie Awards. Honestly, I don't think it's wise for a single woman to go to Las Vegas alone so I doubt I'll be without company in Nevada, but I'm going to Steve Harvey's final stand-up performance solo!

I went to ticketmaster with the intent on purchasing 2 tickets. I could've purchased two "nosebleed" seats, but there were individual seats available in the better viewing sections. I pondered on the thought of sitting next to strangers with a good view versus with someone I know with a poor view.

I even asked the cashier what he would do if he were in my situation. He said, that he'd rather sit with a friend. I bought the ticket that I really wanted, which will be between two strangers. So what. I am ready to meet and laugh with some new people anyway. Whoever does go with me to Las Vegas can purchase their own ticket to the event if they want to go and we'll reconnect after the show.


It's really just that simple!