Around Here. Touching Hearts.

For the second time in less than a month, I've caused a woman whom I don't even know to shed tears. The first was a vibrant young lady, probably all of 18-years old. I went to sandwich spot called California Steak and Fries while my eldest daughter was at her tumbling class. She was the cashier there and full of personality.

For some odd reason, she began sharing stories with me about her cute boyfriend and an ugly one. Laughing within. She tickled my heart with her forwardness and I found myself not wanting to leave, but my daughter looks forward to me watching her practice so I had to jet out. I even told my children about "this" young lady.

The next week while on our way from my daughter's tumbling class I stopped by the sandwich spot again. I was hungy. Not that hungry, but I wanted to see if the sweet young lady was there and she was. I was happy to see her as if I really knew her. I asked her about her boyfriends and she said, "that" she let go of the cute one and replaced him. She told me how the ugly one was getting on her nerves and "that" she was going to replace him too. "This" little lady!

I guess "this" particular night was my night to share. I pulled up my younger daughter's fan page to show her how we had made some attempts towards getting her exposed to the entertainment industry. She made some suggestions and said we should just create a youtube channel with some interesting content instead of going the cattle call route. She said her former cute boyfriend was Instagram-famous and if we wanted, she could get him to shout my daughter out. I appreciated her enthusiasm, but we're on hold until further notice with "that" pursuit.

I inquired about her family and she said she was a middle sister of three girls and two boys. I said to her, "You all probably drive your mother crazy." I forgot what else, but I asked another question about her mother then she said her mother had passed away from breast cancer last December. I shared with her how I lost mine in 2014 to lung cancer. I told how abruptly "it" all happened and she began to tear up, which caused me to do the same. I beckoned for her to come from around the counter so that I could hug her and we cried together for a brief moment. "It" was an embrace "that" I believe both our hearts needed. Whether I ever see her again, I'm forever touched by her sweet spirit and strength.

The second occurance happened just about an hour ago. My youngest daughter and I were shopping inside of a Family Dollar discount store searching for some items for her school project. The place was cluttered inside and there was a long line with only one cashier. After finding what we needed, we got in line. "It" moved fairly quickly, however, some of the people in line were a little impatient.

One very ignorant man walked up to the front of the line and very rudely, asked the cashier, "You mean to tell me, you're gonna have me stand in this long line and it's only one cashier?" The cashier replied calmly, "I'm sorry sir there's only one other cashier and I sent her to lunch, plus she's new." The man responded, "So that's the answer?" She said, "Unfortunately sir, yes."

If the expression on his face was a loaded gun, she would've been shot. He signaled to his friend to come on and as he walked toward the door he said to the cashier, "Time is money. By the time I make it up there to you, you'll owe me money." The nerve! This man was dirty and had a whole lot of nerve being so disrespectful towards "this" woman. As he and his friend walked out of the store we were next up. I said to the woman, "GOD Bless you working here. I couldn't put up." I thought, that she began to appear flushed and when I looked up at her to grab my receipt, tears were streaming down her face. I told her don't cry, just pray and look for other jobs; to try temp-agencies.

As we walked out, my daughter said, "that's sad." I agreed. When we got into the car I felt so bad for the woman knowing all "that" she must put up with working there. I sat in the car for a moment thinking about what I could do to help her. I did the only "thing" I could, which was write down my contact information, the name of the temp-agency I worked for, and noted that I could help her with her resume if she wanted. I went back into the store and she still hadn't totally regained her composure, but I got her attention anyhow and passed her my little note. She took "it" and said thank you.

I'm glad the man left, but the entrance to the place is on the side, not facing the street and there was no security guard present. Just cameras throughout the store and probably in the parking lot. Bottom line, the location is not safe, especially for a woman to be manning the place alone. I'm strongly considering making an attempt to get in contact with the owner on her behalf, but the complaint is mine and mine alone. I wouldn't want to jeopardize her job. It's obvious she needs "it."

Why else would she subject herself to "that" treatment working there? Yes, I witnessed just one situation, but I saw deeper pain in her eyes and I wanted to remind her "that" she has options no matter how far-fetched the possibilities may seem at "this" present time.

"Where there's a will, there's a way."

#PrayingForUsAll

No Theme. For April.

I'm returning back to my randomness effective now. Part of me wants to abandon ship here... Again. My other parts say keep moving forward without any unnecessary pressure, but don't leave "this" precious blog to just sit unattended to. When I log into my blog sometimes I wonder how I allowed an entire year to pass without posting one single entry during the year of 2013.

I mean, for me to go from posting daily on weekdays, to writing absolutely nothing for a consistent 365 days doesn't really make clear sense. Of course, the bottom line is I just didn't want to, but how much do I have on my agenda daily, "that" I just don't want to do, yet "it" still has to get done? Let's just say "it" is much.

So, "I can" push beyond the lack of motivation I'm feeling today. "It" is simply, just a moment in time. One little moment which will pass. If I'm blessed to return here tomorrow, I'll be glad "that" I did "this." I know myself and tonight I'm encouraging myself to proceed further with "this" blog of mine.

Fantasy Happy. Wednesday!

How I. Love Them!!!

My Beauties!!! 

Just Some. Moments.

                      Queen                                                                        Princesses     

Establishing our family legacy. 

All About. Mine.

"This" week "it" will be all about my daughters. My blogging "that" is. These two keep me busy.

My girls at the WGSACs Miles' Davis Exhibit.

Me and my lovelies!!!

Nineteen Years Ago. "This" Date.

I was 19-years old. I almost accidentally checked out of life due to personal lack of self-control and rage during a moment... which eventually passed. The experience changed me. I'll have to say for the better. Had I not gone through suffering the consequences of such behavior "that" day; there's no telling what today for me, would be.

"It" may have been around "this" very hour on March 11, 1997. I remember waking up in the intensive care unit at Daniel Freeman Memorial Hospital, hooked up to monitors with my family surrounded around me. I remember exactly what my mother and brother said to me. My mom said, that I had been in surgery a long time. My brother asked me who was involved and told me he would go blow up the spot...

###

Time really does fly by.

 I love & miss them... They each equipped me with the strength and courage to stand. As I do now.  

Life checked me.

GOD Saved Me!!!

#LessonsLearned

*Daniel Freeman Memorial Hospital's emergency staff were on task, highly-skilled in their medical professions and helped to save my life. They also helped me give birth to new life and assisted with saving hers. How could a place like "this" close?

It's all about the money.

Here. Briefly.

I'll return to highlighting my VIPs next week...

Reflective Soul. Freny Azzy!!!

We have so much in common. Our approach to our home-life, work-life, and how we deal with men is quite similar. My friend Azzy is so much more than just my friend. I've adopted her as my sister. We share a mutual understanding about our friendship and respect "it" at all times.

We don't always agree and we speak bluntly to one another about our opinions/advice. I treasure being able to communicate openly and honestly, like "this." Not everyone's skin is thick enough to handle the bold truth, but Azzy and I can.

She was raised by both parents and is a mother to four boys; well, two are men now. Her mother told me, that she was spoiled rotten as a child by her father and is still a brat today. Laughing out loud.

She's a stubborn Taurus indeed! I've learned to accept her "no's" and to move on without getting frustrated because I couldn't persuade her otherwise. I've fussed at her time and time again, as she has also, fussed me down to the core. We are very much like sisters because we always work through our differences together.

"It" is safe to say, that we want to be in one another's lives because we both take the time putting our best efforts forth nourishing our relationship as friendsters. I love her so much and I'm blessed having her presence in my life!!!

I have yet to mention how brilliant she is. She speaks three different languages; American English, Spanglish/Spanish, and Creole. Her father taught her how to change the oil and tires on cars. She showed me the old-school way of securely discarding sensitive documents by throwing the excess paperwork in a barbecue pit and simply, setting it on fire. She forces me out of my comfort zone, which is sometimes necessary in order for me to stretch my capabilities. She's my rock.

Azzy is the fashionista of the bunch. She's brand conscious and always talking about my personal style of dress. We have a current bet going to see who'll reach their best level of fitness first by June 1. I plan to win. I'm going to beat her by incorporating a last minute crash course diet and power fitness regimen; sometime "this" month... Or even next month, while she takes the slow approach, battling with the daily pressures of temptation. Laughing within.

She keeps the fire lit beneath me. A constant reminder for me to present myself as my best self no matter what. She doesn't agree with me to please me and I need "that." Through her I see more of myself. Some sides needing more improvement and in other areas where I shouldn't neglect myself.

My Azzy can be a little mean, but so can I so I'm not at all judging. I love her as she is and I'm keeping her as my friendster forever. She is like a mirror to me and I've designated her as my life coach. Together, we're becoming stronger women, leading examples of how to run a household, and remaining success driven.

Golden Hearted. Lizzy-Wizzy.

I sometimes feel, that I'm unworthy of her friendship. She's so patient and understanding with me. We met 21-years ago. Who would've ever known, that we'd still be so relevant in each other's lives currently, today? No one, but GOD!!!

"This" lovely friend of mine has a golden heart. We have never argued. Debated; respectfully, but never have we crossed over the line into disrespect throughout our entire friendship. There's just "something" special about my Lizzy-Wizzy. I recognized "this" long ago and I protect her from my wrath when I'm experiencing challenging moments.

She probably feels a little excluded from my life at times, but she knows the truth. Having a friend whom knows me inside/out, but never places any judgement upon me or competes in our friendship helps me be more accountable of my actions or those lacking.

We both are GODmothers to our daughters. She has three and I have my two. I became a mom first, then she, then me again, then her again and again. Surprisingly, she gave birth to a third baby girl. No third birth for me and seeing her having to prioritize/manage her time with/between all of my GODdaughters further solidifies my choice to be done with having babies.

My Lizzy-Wizzy is one of the best mother's I know. I always knew she'd be a great mom, but her life actually, as a mom supersedes most of my best expectations. Did I mention how patient she is? I should take several notes because I've witnessed firsthand, how calmly she reacts in pinched moments. There's a level of cool, that doesn't escape her being; ever.

Tear-jerking share: I was a bit out of it when my mother first passed away. I don't know why, but I immediately began sending texts informing people. Lizzy-Wizzy was one. I don't know how she got to me so quickly, but she walked right into that hospital room and brought me comfort in one of the most life-changing awkward moments of my life. I believe she rushed off enroute to me at the end of one of her daughter's graduations.

Talk about a friend... I'm so blessed having "this" beauty to refer to as one of my bests. How she puts up with me; only GOD knows, but I love her beyond words!!! Thank you, LORD for allowing us to cross paths and keeping us close!!! 

Even when we're not communicating regularly. "That" doesn't change a "thing."

Spirit Food. Mr. CJ.

My playbrother is like a real brother, but seeing how I only had one biological brother whom was killed in 2003; I never want anyone to mistake either and I'll always keep my brother's memory alive by making mention of him.

There's an inside joke amongst those in my circle. They say, CJ and I are going to end up together. Laughing out loud and within. We know one another quite well, which is why I think it's pretty hilarious, that since we've been friends for so long other's think we should just "hook up" and become a couple. Neither of us would even consider jeopordizing our friendship on any attempt at becoming a couple.

CJ and I are exactly what the LORD wants us to be; friends. We share an honest friendship and a divine kinship. I learn a whole lot from him regarding the male perspective and he learns much about women through my personal insights. He has two younger sisters he grew up with so I take on the big sister role with him, although we're the exact same age; probably hours and minutes apart. We also share the same exact birthdate.

Aside from CJ being one of my most reliable friends, there are some milestones in my life where his presence will forever remain irreplaceable. He has a lifetime freedom pass into my life and he's definitely a VIP. I can't name every time or each occurrence where he's been dependable for not just me, but for my family as well because he's been here for me and my girls through almost everything.

He visited me in the hospital both times I gave birth. My daughters truly value him as their uncle. Every event we've invited him to, he attends. He's even surprised us with tickets to various outtings and performances. I can always count on him for a small loan when neeeded and he doesn't sweat me about the payback. He is listed as an emergency contact at both of my daughters' schools. By every account, he is my bestfriend, but I'm also very fortunate to count on him as my playbrother. He's the little brother I never had growing up and I love him just as he is!

Sidenote: He's a good man. One day he'll make a great husband and father to his own family. He loves the LORD with all of his heart and his daily actions are based upon "this" truth. Only GOD can fill him with the patience and understanding necessary to be categorized as a VIP in my life. I'm thankful, "that" he allows his cup to be filled with the Holy Spirit and for his willingness to deliver whatever/however accordingly.

I'm so blessed having him as a spiritual brother and to count on him as my friend. CJ is star in my world. I will cherish our friendship forever. 

#FACT

My Black History: Day 18.

Welcome to my Black Present...

The night before last I finished watching a documentary on DJ Quik. TV One showcases some of the best documentaries on Black celebrities who haven't received the acclaim they deserve. Unsung, hands-down, educates me so much about many of the artists I'm a fan of.

It includes credible interviews/commentary from their family members, colleagues and close friends. I learn about their upbringing, their influences, some secrets and detailed insights about them as ordinary people. How they became stars isn't the primary focus, but of course, how they began their road to celebrity isn't omitted.

Unsung is one of my other favorite shows to record then catch up to watch when I find the time to sit still long enough "to do" so. 

#BlackEntertainmentResource

My Black History: Day 16.

My Lovely Little Family!!!

"This" is our Black Present.

I Am. Just Fine.

I am referring to more than just my appearance. Laughing out loud, but seriously, I know I'm ok. Just as I am. I feel so much closer to the spirit of my youth. The little girl who was full of energy, so very confident, mentally/physically strong, and enthusiastic about life in general. Far from "that" child now, but my character traits remain. Therefore, today I am better.

Tomorrow, I'm claiming excellence in advance.

I'm reminded of the soul GOD blessed me with and I feel great about "it."

Fabulous Friday in Los Angeles!

Isn't it? 

We lived to see the ending of "this" week and surely, have accomplished some "things." 

Consider how many others who haven't... 

Count your blessings and enjoy the weekend! 

Twentieth. Friday.

Numbered days for each month and names for each day...

I'm affected by numbers and days of the week. The 20th day of each month will forever remind me of the last Friday I spent with my mom in the physical form. I've decided today, that I will not allow sadness to run rampant within me on either. This happens to be the first Friday on the 20th since that landmark date in 2014.

Twenty is now a new number I'll use for lottery selections when I play. Friday's will remind me of an accomplished week and a semi-break until Monday returns. I'm proud of myself and I know that my mommy's angel is in my midst. Eight months ago to date I was reborn.

When I screamed as my mother's spirit ascended from her flesh it was just like my first cry when I was first born. In that moment, I was one with GOD. Otherwise, the medical staff would've probably had to admit me. I never allowed myself to imagine life without my mother or brother. At the mere thought, I used to tear up and had to rebuke that frame of thinking. I just knew that my mom was going to be an old lady I'd be responsible for and I suppose I kind of thought my brother would get life in prison if he didn't leave the gang life behind.

Man was I wrong! So very wrong in my small human thinking. The LORD has bigger plans for my time. Not only was my mother spared from months, possibly years of suffering; I was spared the burden of putting my life on hold to care for my ailing mom and also, from the obligation I would've felt towards by brother had he ended up in prison for life. I am free. Free to be the woman I'm evolving as without being inhibited.

I was raised in a very controlled environment. Even into my adulthood I've been overly concerned about what my mother would say about my decisions and actions. I've taken a break from regular church attendance in order to rid myself from being concerned with what the saints might say or advise me to do. I'm ONLY following demands and orders from the MOST HIGH. Period. I don't have to answer to man and I will no longer seek human approval. Over "that" completely now.

I'm finally growing up at 37-years young! There will be no more drama running to mom and no more big brother to the rescue. I miss them immensely, but sadness doesn't overrule the lifetime of lessons and love I received which I'll keep locked inside my heart forever.

Right now I'm being made ready for my lifemate as I continue to do my best raising my children as a single mother. I'm in no hurry. During this season of preparation I'm finding myself again. I've been operating on autopilot for so long I had almost forgotten how to just live. I'm happily learning how to all over again and remembering how much I love myself. "It" feels fresh and brand new.

Today is now and at "this" present moment I am blessed. 

20th - FRIDAY

Real News. What Now?

All week I've been in research mode. Much of the information I read tested my emotional state. The theme of disappointment and disgrace that's occurring in recent news is underlined by racism.

I saw a documentary titled "Sing Your Song" based on Harry Belafonte's hollywood career and personal life. Seeing how he was treated by the  media for his participation in the "Civil Rights Movement" and how some of his fans felt about his biracial wedding helped me to realize "something."

Those thriving within the entertainment industry with the power and wealth to revitalize "The Movement" either don't carry the same passion that Belafonte (and others) had or they're unwilling to take certain risks, that may affect their lifestyles. Celebrities do have the power to help the public take a stand and sometimes "this" power is needed to reach the masses. They have extensive access to channels of communication, which can broaden the awareness of an issue or a message to "the people."

A recent news story has gained national attention as it should've. Unfortunately, it's another senseless killing of a Black teen, Trayvon Martin. The handling of his case is a troublesome reminder... 

(click on Trayvon Martin for story details)

It's been almost 44-years since Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. The Movement is still a "work in progress" with much needed attention and repair. The Civil Rights leaders who made the biggest impact in this country, helping us to achieve many of the equal rights, which we're all entitled to; have either died or are aging beyond their physical capabilities to stand strong within the righteous fight for equality.


What are we going to do? Me and You. Who's going to stand-up and lead? We better. Where are the fearless fighters who'll follow to ensure civil rights and justice for all mankind? Stop hiding. How will we help our children become leaders of the next generation and new world? Plan now.