Heaven Mary. Never Forgotten.

Ms. Mary was a mother, wife, caretaker and the neighborhood "Big Mama." If not for she and her husband's rearing of my eldest daughter while I was trying to learn my place as a mother, I wouldn't have accomplished half of what I have at this point in my life. Ms. Mary and her husband James Swift (Jimbo) were like surrogate parents to me.

I really thought they'd be here forever, I guess. Never had I considered what I'd do as a parent without them. When I was 6-months pregnant with my youngest daughter, Ms. Mary suffered a heart attack caused by a blood clot and died in her backyard. I was devastated and my daughter's heart was broken.

On a day like today, memories of Ms. Mary and all that she and Jimbo did for me and my daughter weighs heavy on my heart. I remember when my youngest used to get sick I'd be nervous and unsure of the best ways to nurse her back to good health. All I had to do then, was pack up her clothes and take her over to Ms. Mary's. I'd bring her back home once she was well.

Yes, I'm aware that I had it made being able to do that.

My goodness do I miss them? So much. I suppose, that I needed to grow up eventually and be more responsible as a parent. For the most part, I can now credit myself for putting my children first and parenting in the best style I'm capable of. I really do try my best.

Ms. Mary is smiling on us I'm sure. My children are with me daily and I'm not trying to pawn them off on others. I used to be selfish. On several occasions, my eldest daughter wanted to remain in my presence, but I was always on the go back then. As long as she was safe, which I knew that she was with Ms. Mary and Jimbo, I had peace of mind while I was out on the go.

Jimbo did get to meet my youngest daughter before he passed away nearly 1-year after Ms. Mary. I was silly to think that if anybody went first, it would've been Jimbo because he was fighting cancer. It was Ms. Mary's love and tender care that kept him living. He didn't feel like he had much to live for after losing his wife of more than 25-years.

There are somethings about the two of them, that I'll always carry with me. Love supersedes ALL! No matter the circumstance they always had a smile on their faces. Ms. Mary never really asked me for anything. They weren't living a lavish lifestyle, but they were content with what they had and boy did they go the extra mile when it came to their little princess, my daughter. Not one birthday, special event and/or holiday went unacknowledged.

When I needed them, they were always there. If I had known any better, I would've spent so much more time with them and my daughter together. I'm feeling so sensitive at this moment as I reflect on how much they meant to me.

I cannot stand to cry and I'm unwilling to admit that I am right now. Guess I'm just feeling like a baby because I'm ill. I can't be the baby because I have two looking up to me.

I'm forever grateful for the guidance of my surrogate parents. It's also because of them, that I will remain determined and continue fighting towards success. I miss Ms. Mary and Jimbo. Heavily today!

Hope is not gone, nor is it lost.