Two Days. Bye Nine.

"This" is the last Thursday, that my youngest daughter will be 9-years old. I remember when I found out that I was pregnant with her. I had just completed my Broadcast Journalism and Radio Production certification courses at Pasadena City College. Another unplanned pregnancy and I had no interest in becoming more serious with her father.

Why not? Don't be nosey!

Out of respect for my children, I will not publish anything negative about their fathers. Yes, "that's" plural. I have two children by two different men, that I never married. So what. I'm not the first mother with this background and I won't be the last.

Judge me, not. Only GOD!!!

My eldest was beyond excited to become a big sister. She yearned for a little sister and blessedly, her wishes came true. My little family of two grew to three on January 23, 2006. I must admit, their relationship is nothing like I imagined it'd be.

Each share my personality, but to the extreme in some areas with one not speaking out enough and the other talks a lot... Very much. One is quite stingy and the other is a bit too generous. They're both beautiful, intelligent and talented. Like me. ;)

With a 7 1/2-year age gap, we've faced our share of challenges, even though we've been a household full of estrogen. It's been difficult scheduling family outings and deciding where to go, because my daughter's preferences and levels of understanding, land on separate moons. I know, that they love one another, but they don't regularly exercise much patience towards each other and too often, I find myself playing referee between them.

One wants to do "this" and the other wants to do "that." One is too mature for "this" and the other too young for "that." One wants to bring a friend along because her sister brought a friend the last time. Oh, it goes on and on... Let's just be reminded, that girl's are really something else; never satisfied. 

So now, that my eldest will soon be an adult and on her way to college, my youngest will have the opportunity to have me totally at home. She yearns for more one on one time with me and when it's just the two of us, I'm more attentive to her needs. As one could expect.

My youngest has been eyeing her first double-digit birthday since she was 5-years old. She's only grown more anxious about it over the passing years because I told her the next birthday party she'd have, would be when she reached ten. So here we are, finally. 

"This" year, beyond her birthday a big change will come. Still, a family of three we'll remain, however, it'll be just she and I in our household when she begins the 5th grade once summer's over. "Things" will become quite different. I'm looking forward to it because as a single parent with two children, it's challenging balancing fairly between them.

The little one will soon get to experience what it feels like to be an only child within our household. I know that I shouldn't, but I've felt guilty about not being able to provide them both with everything they want and deserve. I've done my best thus far acting as a fair parent, but I haven't been in the position financially, to do a lot of the "things" my eldest experienced having me one on one for the first 7 years of her life.

So... On behalf of my youngest daughter, goodbye 9. Welcome 10. It's time for the little one to get her's in!

Middle School. Moving On.

I am ever so proud of my children. My youngest completed kindergarten last week and today my eldest graduates from junior high school. They're growing up. Wow!

My eldest and her friend won their 8th grade talent show. She sang and her friend rapped during their performance of a song titled, "I made it" by YG featuring Tanea. I appreciate my shout out and also, how they recognized their dads. Watch and listen for the following lyrics...

"I made it, I graduated. I finally made it mama. I did it all for you. My daddy I got you even if you say I don't got to, cause you my daddy for sure."

I feel so special, that my daughter recognizes my efforts as her mother. She and I are so much closer than I was with my mother when I was 14. I was nearly parenting myself calling shots in my life as a teenage runaway.

GOD IS AWESOME!!! Yes, HE IS. THANK YOU LORD for saving me and mine.

This moment in time holds so much significance for me personally. Partly, because I'm getting ready to witness my eldest succeed in high school. "I can" hardly wait for homecoming, prom, and all the "things" that occur in high school. All that I didn't accomplish in high school, my daughters most certainly will and I have no doubt about "it."

A letter to my children:

Dear Beautiful Daughters of Mine,

I am so grateful being your mommy. I'll never know why GOD chose me for you and you two for me. It's something I wont ever question because you two are my gifts from heaven and I wouldn't trade either of you in for anything else. You both are so very special. Spiritually touched and protected by our heavenly father.

I owe you both. I owe you my best. Mommy has been coasting along and a little depressed about how cold "this" world is. I realize, that I haven't been functioning at my best. Simply getting by only. For this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have yet to try my hardest personally and more importantly as your mother.

We do well. Always have, but I'll say it's time that our little family does great. As the head of our family it is my lead, that you both have as an example. Mommy has work to do and because of you two I'll get the jobs done. This is my promise in writing to you both. It gets better from here babies!

I only ask, that you two continue as you have being successful students and the respectful girls, that I gladly know as my daughters. You both are awesome. In your own individual ways. I LOVE you just as you are and I'm raising you both to know your individual worth as children of the MOST HIGH.

Get ready girls. We're about to go places, that once seemed impossible. We're going to do things, that we never thought we'd get the opportunity to. Let us continue to love one another unconditionally as we journey through life's adventures together. I LOVE YOU BOTH SO VERY MUCH!!!

With unconditional LOVE & SUPPORT,

Mommy