In Just. Four Weeks.

I will have an adult child by legal standards in exactly 30 days. I keep reminding her, that as long as she lives in my household and as long as I live she will respect me as her mother. Her future husband, kids, colleagues and circle of friends will as well. 

Or else...!!!

Two Days. Two More!!

To share about to complete this month's theme highlighting the VIPs in my life. 

Maysha & Quon are last, but far from least. Power Personalities to be described.

No I Didn't!

Miss adding my lovely Azzy to yesterday's post. Well, she get's my blog all to herself today!

My Freny.

My Black History: Day 9.

I'm flabbergasted, that I still remember the very first house I lived in with my mother and brother. I have vivid memories about living on Fedora Street in Koreatown for my first 6-years of life. I used to play with a little girl named Patricia, but was never allowed in her home. No problem with "that." It's just something I recall. She used to sneak across the street to play with me because she wasn't supposed to leave her front yard. Needless to say, her parents were very strict.

At "this" time of my life I didn't know much about differences in culture or "that" any divide existed between various ethnic groups.

I'm really blessed being alive and having the ability to blog. I reflect back to my childhood and think heavily about a particular incident where nothing, but GOD kept me from becoming an abducted child. Patricia and I, were almost victims of kidnap. On one afternoon, we both snuck around the corner on our Big Wheel tricycles. "This" was also during the era of the "night-stalker" who was a serial killer on the loose in Los Angeles.

We were halfway around the block when an old white man in a station wagon pulled up alongside us. I'm not sure about Patricia, but I don't recall knowing better than to talk to strangers so when he stopped and spoke to us I responded. He pushed his passenger door open and asked me to come closer. I got off of my tricycle and I remember telling Patricia to come, but she stayed put on her tricycle and shook her head no.

As I approached his vehicle, he pulled out his private part and asked me if I wanted to touch "it." I remember being afraid and telling him no as I began to step back. I was actually close enough for him to grab me if he had done so instead of grabbing himself. He asked me if I wanted to go for a ride and I said no. Patricia beckoned me to get back onto my tricycle and we screamed as we peddled away as quickly as we could, returning back around the corner from which we came. The man didn't follow us. He proceeded forward and we never saw him again.

Thank GOD!!!

We told our parents and I remember my family being pretty frantic about the ordeal. They thought the man might have been the "night-stalker." He wasn't him, but still a pedophile. Although, I described him above by skin color and age, based upon my memory. I don't hold his actions towards me against any other old white man. Unfortunately, I've experienced other similar scenarios during my teen year, even some as an adult and guess what? The men involved weren't white.

Individuals should be held accountable for their actions and not be deemed as representatives for their entire ethnic group. "This" kind of grouping is unjust, invalid and ignorant.

"This" experience is one I just haven't forgotten. All the news stories I've heard and read about regarding child abductions takes me back to "that" memory. "It" causes me to be very overprotective with my children.

With so much else going on in the world, it's pretty unbelievable how some people choose to focus on the color of someone's skin and/or their past. My childhood friend Patricia was Korean. I grew aware of "this" fact long after we moved out of "that" neighborhood. "It" was never an issue and still today, "that" isn't what I remember most. I remember her being a wise little girl and perhaps, saving my life by knowing better than to talk to strangers. Had she be in agreeance with me, I may not have ever seen today.

My Black History: Day 6.

Today, I'm remembering those who've influenced me most, but have gone on to glory.

My Black History: In Memoriam

Granny (My mama's mom) - I was only able to spend 7-years with you before you were called, but I'm forever grateful for the sweet memories, that just don't leave my mind and heart.

Mrs. Smith (6th grade gifted/choir teacher) - I know that love exists in the hood and not everyone stereotypes because you allowed me to be the person GOD designed me to be without judgement.

Spook (My big brother) - I believe in myself and my abilities because you reminded me, that I'm important.

Kristen (My classmate from Pasadena City College) - I can laugh at time because of you. I only knew you for a short period, but you shared some special moments and insights about family with me, that I'll cherish forever.

Mrs. Mary & Jimbo Swift (Caretakers of my eldest daughter/substitute parents) - I was able to pursue my goals of completing college because the two of you allowed me the break from time, that I needed as a young, single-parent trying to build a stable foundation for my little family.

Ma (My biological mother) - I possess the strength you instilled within me and I maintain because you taught me how to survive.

These seven individuals made a huge impact on my life. I remember them everyday. I will forever treasure the stories of our lives together and continue to honor you with thoughtful action. May all of your souls continue to rest peacefully with our Lord, Savior and Father!!!

#MyRockAngels4Life

My Black History: Day 4

Instead of filling this post with a whole bunch of words today, I want to take a moment to pause and honor a great Black musician who founded one of the greatest bands in history. Not just ours, but everyone's favorite band, Earth, Wind & Fire. Unmatched to this very day. Let their music play on forever!

 Another legend left earth to play and sing with our one and only Heavenly King of Kings. 

GOD BLESS!!!

Rest in Heaven Peacefully.

Maurice White

December 19, 1941 ~ February 3, 2016

What he did, where he went and how he did "it" will forever be remembered as a staple of significant  greatness in Black History. Past, present and future. A fact. 

 GOD Bless his family, friends, colleagues and fans.

Thankful to Earth, Wind & Fire for giving us so many timeless classics that will never be forgotten and can't be duplicated. 

Living & Caring. Loving & Sharing.

Last week, while I was organizing some items I found a white board I had forgotten about. I decided to hang it up on the wall in our hallway, which connects our two bedrooms and bathroom. Initially, I was going to allow my youngest daughter to use it as her personal drawing board.

After observing how my daughters were competing with one another erasing what the other drew and personalizing their stuff with their signatures, I decided "that" the board should be used for a better purpose. A few days ago, I erased the board and wrote the following.

"Do not write on this white board unless you buy your own dry-erase markers or make a contribution towards the purchase of one." I'm so much like my mother. Laughing within.

I told my girls, that they were being wasteful by doodling on the board and if they wanted to continue doing "that" they'll have to furnish their own markers. Come on. I only have two. Yes, I said I. It's mine and I was simply sharing it with them. Seriously.

So, on my youngest daughter's birthday, I took it upon myself to erase my bold statement and created a happy birthday message on the board for her to see as soon she got up "that" morning. Would you know, I had to bring it to her attention first? Apparently, she was on the hunt searching for presents and completely overlooked my sweet and thoughtful art-piece.

I wish that I could post a picture of "it," but due to my lack of self-control the other day with my old iPhone, the picture is irretrievable because it was taken with "that" phone. Dang "it."

The morning after my daughter's birthday she erased my birthday message and drew her own thank you message. A complete disregard to my new rule, but what monster would enforce such upon a kind-thinking 10-year old? So, I let it be, but then of course my eldest had "something" to say about "it."

I came up with a better solution for the white board display in our home. I told my daughters, that we should be posting uplifting quotes & statements on "it." Some "thing" we can all read and appreciate; possibly carry with us throughout our day and perhaps, share with others. My eldest took the lead the same night I had my meltdown and decided to write out a positive quote referencing how we have the freedom to choose between being a prisoner of our pasts or be pioneers of our future.

I told her I had heard "that" quote before and she tried to take credit, but it's still a great start because it kept me thinking. Positively. The next day my youngest posted her own quote suggesting that we do something to help someone. We have a little momentum building with "this." I posted my own quote last night as today's statement. See below.

Reasoning to think better, live better and be a better example for my children and others.

Two Days. Bye Nine.

"This" is the last Thursday, that my youngest daughter will be 9-years old. I remember when I found out that I was pregnant with her. I had just completed my Broadcast Journalism and Radio Production certification courses at Pasadena City College. Another unplanned pregnancy and I had no interest in becoming more serious with her father.

Why not? Don't be nosey!

Out of respect for my children, I will not publish anything negative about their fathers. Yes, "that's" plural. I have two children by two different men, that I never married. So what. I'm not the first mother with this background and I won't be the last.

Judge me, not. Only GOD!!!

My eldest was beyond excited to become a big sister. She yearned for a little sister and blessedly, her wishes came true. My little family of two grew to three on January 23, 2006. I must admit, their relationship is nothing like I imagined it'd be.

Each share my personality, but to the extreme in some areas with one not speaking out enough and the other talks a lot... Very much. One is quite stingy and the other is a bit too generous. They're both beautiful, intelligent and talented. Like me. ;)

With a 7 1/2-year age gap, we've faced our share of challenges, even though we've been a household full of estrogen. It's been difficult scheduling family outings and deciding where to go, because my daughter's preferences and levels of understanding, land on separate moons. I know, that they love one another, but they don't regularly exercise much patience towards each other and too often, I find myself playing referee between them.

One wants to do "this" and the other wants to do "that." One is too mature for "this" and the other too young for "that." One wants to bring a friend along because her sister brought a friend the last time. Oh, it goes on and on... Let's just be reminded, that girl's are really something else; never satisfied. 

So now, that my eldest will soon be an adult and on her way to college, my youngest will have the opportunity to have me totally at home. She yearns for more one on one time with me and when it's just the two of us, I'm more attentive to her needs. As one could expect.

My youngest has been eyeing her first double-digit birthday since she was 5-years old. She's only grown more anxious about it over the passing years because I told her the next birthday party she'd have, would be when she reached ten. So here we are, finally. 

"This" year, beyond her birthday a big change will come. Still, a family of three we'll remain, however, it'll be just she and I in our household when she begins the 5th grade once summer's over. "Things" will become quite different. I'm looking forward to it because as a single parent with two children, it's challenging balancing fairly between them.

The little one will soon get to experience what it feels like to be an only child within our household. I know that I shouldn't, but I've felt guilty about not being able to provide them both with everything they want and deserve. I've done my best thus far acting as a fair parent, but I haven't been in the position financially, to do a lot of the "things" my eldest experienced having me one on one for the first 7 years of her life.

So... On behalf of my youngest daughter, goodbye 9. Welcome 10. It's time for the little one to get her's in!

So I'm... Finally back!

Before I explain why I abandoned my blog for so long I need to write a letter to my present self...

"Appearance can be deceitful."

Dear Ms. Lampkin,

     I love you and I miss you living within the present. You don't have to continue recycling old thoughts, stressing about your future, nor do you have to feel guilty about the total woman you are now. Rid yourself completely from acting off of the influence of others. Be very careful with whom and where you lend your time and how you spend your hard earned income. You are special. Not everyone is worthy of your personal attention, affection and time. I know you've felt bad about that, but no more.

     GOD has blessed you with two beautiful daughters whom your influence directly impacts. Focus more on what they need from you versus the world.They're intelligent and respectable young ladies who believe in and love their mom. Embrace that with each passing moment. They're growing up quickly and there's no reversing the chronological order of age.

     You are more than just okay. You're awesome! Make yourself remember that daily by the moment. Time isn't getting ahead of you. Your thoughts are, so slow down and turn all that thinking into action. "We're on information overload," says your brain cells. There's nothing more you need to do to prove to yourself or anyone else how intelligent you are. Overtime you've become a wonderful actress... (giggling to myself).

Remember some of your best roles?

• Happy mom: You put on your best face most days for your children regardless how you really feel.

• Caring daughter: You show concern for your mom even though she's your most challenging person to deal with.

• Sweet niece: You are available to your aunts and uncle when they call upon you and you show up with glee.

• Fun cousin: You bring the entertainment by simply being you.

• Best friend: Your inner circle knows you as a rock, someone trustworthy and truly there when needed.

• Employee: You carry yourself with such professionalism people believe you're in a position of authority and rely upon your due diligence in every area.

• BPT Editor: You use your education and skills to create awareness and to highlight relevant information to the entire congregation. 

• Single woman: You stand strong against all odds and can depend on yourself.

• Inner little girl: You possess a sweet innocence untainted by your adult experiences.

• Human: You care about ALL mankind and naturally interact well with all cultures. 

Please promise to never again forget who you are and all the greatness within you. Also, be willing to share and open yourself to new interactions and possibilities. You've got precaution down to a science and you don't have to fear or worry about ANYTHING. GOD has you. He always has. You know this, now live and own it!!!

Love Always,

Your True Self

One Year Later...

Today marks our 1-year Anniversary living where we reside now. Wow, how the time has flown. I kind of still feel like we just moved in.

GOD IS GREAT!!! ALL the time!!! YES HE IS!!! 

My very first kiss suggested a blog topic for me today. For your nosiness: We were in the 4th grade and it took place in a tree. His suggestion was, that I blog about myself from past to present.

Well, strangely before receiving his suggestion, I was considering all the places I've lived up until now. My very first apartment was located in Hawthorne, California. I was 18-years old and I allowed my cousin to live with me towards the end of my 1-year lease. From there, I wanted to do BIG "things" and applied for a  2-bedroom, 1 1/2 bath (with sauna indoors) apartment in Hollywood.  I was approved to move there.

On the morning that we were to move-in, I decided that I had made a mistake and wanted to opt-out of the rental agreement. For some reason it felt like I was about to endanger us by moving in that upscale apartment nor was I financially suited to comfortably handle the expected overhead. I ended up losing half of the move-in money behind "this" decision. My cousin had to find somewhere to live and I moved back home with my mother to regroup for while.

The next place I moved into was a rear bachelor home. Would you believe it was the childhood home of hip-hop superstar,  "The Game"? His mother was a former employer of mine who was kind enough to allow me to rent from her. He was a teenager at the time and I barely ever saw him at home, but I did drive his Peugeot a few times with his mother's permission.

I then moved to Lancaster, California with my first love from high school. We shared a 2-bedroom, 1 bath home, but I was hardly ever there. I couldn't stay away from Los Angeles and after a short while, I realized that it was better for me to move back to the "big city" so I did.