My Intended. Blogcation.

As some personal prioritized deadlines approach I feel a strong need to vacate from "this" space temporarily to give my undivided attention to my real live life tasks at hand. Over the next few months I'll be...

• Finalizing what's necessary to secure my eldest daughter's college admission, registration for classes and her big move out of state.
• Making the necessary preparations for her birthday/prom big bang event.
• Studying intensely about the organization I'm now employed by to further secure my position.
• Packing to put some "things" in storage.
• Disposing of many "things" that just don't need to follow us into our new place.
• Finding/securing a suitable location/place where we'll make "it" our new home.
• Moving into our new place and making "it" a home.
• Amongst other "things" unnamed at "this" present moment.

So, to those "that" do check in here to see what's new in my world, you'll have to check out my archives during the meanwhile as I take care of family business as head of my household. I shall return in due time with some new updates and more interesting stories, than I can share now. If no one tells you and you're not feeling any of "it" know "that" I love you as you are and accept you totally for who you may become, whether I've actually met you or not. Your presence here is enough to warrant my acknowledgement and general respect for the time you took to read my dear blog.

#AsUwereCarryOnAsIdotheSame

Resurrection Sunday 2016. Easter.

                   

 

           

Thank you JESUS!!!

GODFamily. Real Ones.

My GODmother Sharon took me in during my teenage years. I didn't live with her, but was able to visit whenever I wanted and she gave me "something" that I couldn't get from my biological family, which was trust. She trusted me in her home unsupervised. She allowed me to drive her car and her boyfriend's car. "This" was huge for me because she never made me prove myself to her. She took me as I was; embraced and complimented me about my character. Truly heaven sent into my life when every other door was closing in my face.  GOD is real!!! I love her. She's one of the greatest female role models in my life.

My GODsister Kaysh is the most beautiful, most loving, most generous and most compassionate person I have ever met. She's always been "this" way and still remains the same. With all the adversity she's faced and overcome, she exudes a genuine enthusiastic love for life itself. I'm talking about every living thing from people to animals, birds to amphibians, flowers to bugs, and so on. On countless occasions I've visited her in her home to find a new living creature she adopted by surprise. Laughing within. She is very creative with a sharp mind and quite disciplined in many areas. Raising her two sons as a single parent is her pride and joy. They're fine young men whom cherish their mother and are aware of the sacrifices she's made to provide them with a loving upbringing. She is the big sister I never had. I learned how to ride a two-wheel bicycle when I was 7-years old because she was patient enough to teach me and demonstrated how much she believed in me. There is absolutely no one like her. Not a soul. I'm forever grateful to know her as my GODsister and to be divinely connected regardless of time or space. I love her! We never skip a beat when we meet.

My GODsister Puma is cut from similar cloth as Kaysh. Puma is a poet and a rapper, but she'd probably prefer that I state her status as a rapper first. Isn't rap poetry of some sort? She and Kaysh are the ultimate funsters! I have had so much fun hanging out with them both and individually. Puma doesn't have any biological kids, but she's an aunt to all children. Very domesticated and highly protective of her loved ones, she keeps close watch on everyone and upkeeps her abode. She doesn't mind helping people and I love her as she is.

My GODsister UnkPep is the most down to earth soul one could meet. She's a self-employed barber, upcoming comedian and actor. She's an excellent conversationalist and has an intriguing mind. She's patient and always supportive of her family. She's one of the youngest looking nearly 50-year old's alive today. Seriously, she looks like she's still 30. She's fun too and one of the realest people in Los Angeles. We can agree to disagree, but never without love and respect for one another. I love her as she is.

My inherited mother MamaVonn is so cool. She has a humorous personality, but she doesn't take any mess. She was the first person ever, to come to my defense when my mother was being rude and disrespectful in the hallway of my old apartment building. Stern, but loving and concerned. Always kept an eye out for my children and our place. She's encouraging and believes in my abilities. I love her and PapaVonn, her husband.

Family is what you make and I love the design of mine. Thank you LORD for each one of them!!!

My Black History: Day 8.

Remembering... 

To simply take a moment.






Present.

And So. I Thought.

I had what I was going to blog about all planned out. I mean, I've been thinking about "it" all day and even over the weekend, but oh! How a single moment can change anything. My mood this evening went from a happy yellow to a raging red.

Why?

I'm still sorting through my thoughts about "it." On my way home from work I stopped at the grocery store to get a few "things." When I finished paying for my groceries, I felt my cellphone vibrating in my pocket. My first thought was, that it must be my eldest daughter calling to ask me to pick her up so I made every effort to grab my phone and answer her call, but I couldn't.

Why not?

Well, when I looked at my phone as it vibrated continuously, the screen was dark. As if my battery had died or something. I know that I should've upgraded my phone within the past two-years at least, but I made the decision that I was going to use it until it became unuseable. Whatever the problem was causing my phone to vibrate was so persistent (extremely annoying), that it just vibrated all the way home, as I walked into the house (gladly, my daughter was there already), and kept on as began to try to get situated after coming in from a full work day. "This" was so distracting to say the least, but I'll share more...

I lost my cool. I wanted to destroy my phone because I was so frustrated with the vibrating noise and the fact, that I couldn't gain access into "it." Before I went off on my iPhone 4 (yes, it's 5-years old), I attempted to fix it by plugging it into the charger; that didn't work. I then asked my daughter how to remove the sim card, which she showed me and I got it out, but the bleepity-bleep phone was still vibrating. At "this" point I wanted to fight "it."

Why?

Ok, I'll admit "it." I've got some unchecked anger rooted in my upbringing, some personal setbacks, my status as a "babymama" (double-time), my economic struggle, not having control of my own time, lack of passion for the "things" that used to contribute towards my daily cheerfulness, feeling overwhelmed about all my responsibilities, and not being able to say exactly how I feel to some people for the sake of "saving face and keeping the peace."

Sometimes, we break ("things"). Tonight, I broke my phone. I am somehow, now able to write peacefully about "it," but my children were puzzled about witnessing my tantrum and asked if I'd "be ok." I assured them I would be, but I needed to get through "that" personal moment of despair. I wallowed in "it" for about 45 minutes, fussing about how upset I was at the phone and how "it" was messing up my night.

How did I give that piece of junk so much power over my mood?

I'm not sure, but I do know, that I was very immature with how I handled my frustration over a device. Needless to say, I'm not so into my phone "that" I can't live without "it." However, I'm a mother, I have a job, and folks that are concerned and care enough about me to call and/or text me.

How can they now?

They can still leave a voicemail message, but I won't know until I check. I'll no longer be alerted instantly. I'll miss texting.Yes, I'll replace the phone probably very soon, but I didn't have to make it an urgent matter.

Did I?

No, now "that" I'm thinking (instead of feeling so mad) it probably would've vibrated itself completely out of charge. Then maybe, just maybe, but I guess I'll never know now (silly-foolish me... not laughing, but smirking at myself). I could've recharged "it" and perhaps, it would've been fine. Now, I'm hoping, just hoping, that AT&T has magical powers to retrieve my data, which is now hammered into the deepest inside parts of the device, literally. Wouldn't believe, that I formerly kept "that" phone in tip-top condition and it still appeared new outside of the protective case.

What to do?

Admit my error: Done. Reckon with myself and move on: Currently in effect.

I'm no longer afraid to share my failures as my willingness "to do" so, helps me to better accept and consider my choices moving forward. I completely failed myself in the department of self-control tonight, but I also recovered. Totally, right here in "this" sacred space in time for me. Thank GOD!!!

How am I now? 

Still blessed and highly favored. Next!

One moment, each day at a time is the best way for me to find balance within myself and others.

Valentine's Day. Blues.

I can't stand Valentine's Day. There aren't many Valentine's Days that stick out as being memorable or special in any way to me. I've received cards, flowers and "things" on LOVEs-day so what's my problem?

I'm not and haven't been in a serious intimate relationship for quite some time for starters. Secondly, I can't say that I currently share a mutual significant "anything" with anyone special. Perhaps, not being the special lady to someone or having someone who I deem as being special to me; is the underlying reason for my dislike towards Valentine's Day.

Until then, I think that I wont ever like/appreciate Valentine's Day for what "it" is. The vendors: My goodness they make my eyes hurt seeing nearly every corner occupied with their various gifts for sale. I'm almost sure they'll be out selling all "this" week, over the weekend, and probably a day or two after Valentine's Day is over...

I decided to blog about it today because I'm sure I'll be onto "something" more interesting when LOVEs-day gets here. Aside from that, I surely don't want to be responsible for dampening anyones happy/loving feelings about Valentine's Day. Especially not on the day of, or even the week during... Getting "it" off my chest now! 

Kiss "it" cupid! Your aim has been way off one time too many. I know: GOD LOVES me!!!

24/7+365/1(absolutely)-(conditions)=Eternal LOVE

HIS LOVE outweighs/outlasts ALL!!!