In Just. Four Weeks.

I will have an adult child by legal standards in exactly 30 days. I keep reminding her, that as long as she lives in my household and as long as I live she will respect me as her mother. Her future husband, kids, colleagues and circle of friends will as well. 

Or else...!!!

Thankful "this" Friday!

Everyday & Always!!!

Around Here. Touching Hearts.

For the second time in less than a month, I've caused a woman whom I don't even know to shed tears. The first was a vibrant young lady, probably all of 18-years old. I went to sandwich spot called California Steak and Fries while my eldest daughter was at her tumbling class. She was the cashier there and full of personality.

For some odd reason, she began sharing stories with me about her cute boyfriend and an ugly one. Laughing within. She tickled my heart with her forwardness and I found myself not wanting to leave, but my daughter looks forward to me watching her practice so I had to jet out. I even told my children about "this" young lady.

The next week while on our way from my daughter's tumbling class I stopped by the sandwich spot again. I was hungy. Not that hungry, but I wanted to see if the sweet young lady was there and she was. I was happy to see her as if I really knew her. I asked her about her boyfriends and she said, "that" she let go of the cute one and replaced him. She told me how the ugly one was getting on her nerves and "that" she was going to replace him too. "This" little lady!

I guess "this" particular night was my night to share. I pulled up my younger daughter's fan page to show her how we had made some attempts towards getting her exposed to the entertainment industry. She made some suggestions and said we should just create a youtube channel with some interesting content instead of going the cattle call route. She said her former cute boyfriend was Instagram-famous and if we wanted, she could get him to shout my daughter out. I appreciated her enthusiasm, but we're on hold until further notice with "that" pursuit.

I inquired about her family and she said she was a middle sister of three girls and two boys. I said to her, "You all probably drive your mother crazy." I forgot what else, but I asked another question about her mother then she said her mother had passed away from breast cancer last December. I shared with her how I lost mine in 2014 to lung cancer. I told how abruptly "it" all happened and she began to tear up, which caused me to do the same. I beckoned for her to come from around the counter so that I could hug her and we cried together for a brief moment. "It" was an embrace "that" I believe both our hearts needed. Whether I ever see her again, I'm forever touched by her sweet spirit and strength.

The second occurance happened just about an hour ago. My youngest daughter and I were shopping inside of a Family Dollar discount store searching for some items for her school project. The place was cluttered inside and there was a long line with only one cashier. After finding what we needed, we got in line. "It" moved fairly quickly, however, some of the people in line were a little impatient.

One very ignorant man walked up to the front of the line and very rudely, asked the cashier, "You mean to tell me, you're gonna have me stand in this long line and it's only one cashier?" The cashier replied calmly, "I'm sorry sir there's only one other cashier and I sent her to lunch, plus she's new." The man responded, "So that's the answer?" She said, "Unfortunately sir, yes."

If the expression on his face was a loaded gun, she would've been shot. He signaled to his friend to come on and as he walked toward the door he said to the cashier, "Time is money. By the time I make it up there to you, you'll owe me money." The nerve! This man was dirty and had a whole lot of nerve being so disrespectful towards "this" woman. As he and his friend walked out of the store we were next up. I said to the woman, "GOD Bless you working here. I couldn't put up." I thought, that she began to appear flushed and when I looked up at her to grab my receipt, tears were streaming down her face. I told her don't cry, just pray and look for other jobs; to try temp-agencies.

As we walked out, my daughter said, "that's sad." I agreed. When we got into the car I felt so bad for the woman knowing all "that" she must put up with working there. I sat in the car for a moment thinking about what I could do to help her. I did the only "thing" I could, which was write down my contact information, the name of the temp-agency I worked for, and noted that I could help her with her resume if she wanted. I went back into the store and she still hadn't totally regained her composure, but I got her attention anyhow and passed her my little note. She took "it" and said thank you.

I'm glad the man left, but the entrance to the place is on the side, not facing the street and there was no security guard present. Just cameras throughout the store and probably in the parking lot. Bottom line, the location is not safe, especially for a woman to be manning the place alone. I'm strongly considering making an attempt to get in contact with the owner on her behalf, but the complaint is mine and mine alone. I wouldn't want to jeopardize her job. It's obvious she needs "it."

Why else would she subject herself to "that" treatment working there? Yes, I witnessed just one situation, but I saw deeper pain in her eyes and I wanted to remind her "that" she has options no matter how far-fetched the possibilities may seem at "this" present time.

"Where there's a will, there's a way."

#PrayingForUsAll

Family Time. Well Spent.

My big cousin from Chicago and his friend drove into Los Angeles from Las Vegas this morning so I took off from work early to hangout with them for a bit. We had lunch together and walked around the Beverly Center area. I really had a good time with them.

He reached out and I reached back. We both made an effort towards some moments worth sharing together. I may have only seen him all of 3-4 times in my life, yet I still feel the familial connection. "That" alone is meaningful. His friend "J" was good company as well. Today was a great day.

Seventy. LXIX.

Happy early 70th Birthday Angel Mama!!!!!!!

4/2/1946 - 6/20/2014

The Best Cousin. Quon.

The best cousin I've ever known. Wouldn't trade her for any other.

I love this little petite, chocolate, real-life china doll so much!!! She has a warrior's spirit and is the most self-encouraging person I know. When she's ready to share her own personal story she will. I can't rob her of the opportunity so I'll only share what she means to me. 

We met when we were in junior high school. She and her sister were pretty popular there. Quon embraced me immediately and we soon became inseparable. "This" woman has had my back since day one. Although, most of my upbringing has been in the hood, I was still quite naive in some areas, which made me very susceptible to becoming victimized by nonsense.

I had already experienced being bullied heavily and fights were waiting on me at "this" school. Quon inspired a great amount of bravery in my being. To stand tough on my own wasn't really my issue. Standing up against the negativity of the masses is where I faced some challenges and here, is where my cousin demonstrated a high level of concern for my well-being. 

As small as she was then, she had a mouth "that" spit fire like a dragon and no one would persistently bother her. I can't fail to mention how quickly her sister, my cousin Missy was to fight to defend her big-tiny sister. Kids from their neighborhood knew better than to mess with these two sisters and when they took me in, folks knew who I was related to so they didn't bother me either. Much of my own street-cred I owe to my big brother and cousins, Quon and Missy.

To date, she is still "something" like a warrior. She commands respect and gets "it." I recall a time when we were roommates and I couldn't get her to do what I wanted so we had a heated arguement. "It" escalated to the point where I felt we were better off going our separate ways and we did; for many years. Her forgiving heart led her to reach out to me by visiting my mother when she was alive. I was so stubborn, that I didn't acknowledge her efforts for a few more unnecessary years. 

I need my cousin in my life. I know "this" now more than ever. She is a rock. My rock solid family member. She accepts me with all of my flaws and doesn't mind sharing her opinion even if it makes me steaming mad. Laughing within. Through our relationship I've learned how to let go much better. I recover from being upset much quicker these days thanks to my beautiful cousin. I've seen how she does "it" and how much happier "it" makes her to move forward beyond offenses without holding a grudge against those "that" matter to her. She really is a real person. Like it or not, Quon is true to her person and does not live life as a phony made up character.

The LORD blessed me with "this" walking miracle to remain present in my life. Through her I see a whole lot of myself. We have matured into independent women together and I'm glad "that" Quon still remains relevant in my life.  

GODFamily. Real Ones.

My GODmother Sharon took me in during my teenage years. I didn't live with her, but was able to visit whenever I wanted and she gave me "something" that I couldn't get from my biological family, which was trust. She trusted me in her home unsupervised. She allowed me to drive her car and her boyfriend's car. "This" was huge for me because she never made me prove myself to her. She took me as I was; embraced and complimented me about my character. Truly heaven sent into my life when every other door was closing in my face.  GOD is real!!! I love her. She's one of the greatest female role models in my life.

My GODsister Kaysh is the most beautiful, most loving, most generous and most compassionate person I have ever met. She's always been "this" way and still remains the same. With all the adversity she's faced and overcome, she exudes a genuine enthusiastic love for life itself. I'm talking about every living thing from people to animals, birds to amphibians, flowers to bugs, and so on. On countless occasions I've visited her in her home to find a new living creature she adopted by surprise. Laughing within. She is very creative with a sharp mind and quite disciplined in many areas. Raising her two sons as a single parent is her pride and joy. They're fine young men whom cherish their mother and are aware of the sacrifices she's made to provide them with a loving upbringing. She is the big sister I never had. I learned how to ride a two-wheel bicycle when I was 7-years old because she was patient enough to teach me and demonstrated how much she believed in me. There is absolutely no one like her. Not a soul. I'm forever grateful to know her as my GODsister and to be divinely connected regardless of time or space. I love her! We never skip a beat when we meet.

My GODsister Puma is cut from similar cloth as Kaysh. Puma is a poet and a rapper, but she'd probably prefer that I state her status as a rapper first. Isn't rap poetry of some sort? She and Kaysh are the ultimate funsters! I have had so much fun hanging out with them both and individually. Puma doesn't have any biological kids, but she's an aunt to all children. Very domesticated and highly protective of her loved ones, she keeps close watch on everyone and upkeeps her abode. She doesn't mind helping people and I love her as she is.

My GODsister UnkPep is the most down to earth soul one could meet. She's a self-employed barber, upcoming comedian and actor. She's an excellent conversationalist and has an intriguing mind. She's patient and always supportive of her family. She's one of the youngest looking nearly 50-year old's alive today. Seriously, she looks like she's still 30. She's fun too and one of the realest people in Los Angeles. We can agree to disagree, but never without love and respect for one another. I love her as she is.

My inherited mother MamaVonn is so cool. She has a humorous personality, but she doesn't take any mess. She was the first person ever, to come to my defense when my mother was being rude and disrespectful in the hallway of my old apartment building. Stern, but loving and concerned. Always kept an eye out for my children and our place. She's encouraging and believes in my abilities. I love her and PapaVonn, her husband.

Family is what you make and I love the design of mine. Thank you LORD for each one of them!!!

My Canary. Human Bird.

My firstborn daughter was long overdue. I was beyond excited when I found out I was pregnant with her because I wanted to become a mom since middle school. So much, "that" I wrote down a list of names for baby boys and baby girls. Quenarii's name was taken from my personal list. Her name is pronounced as canary like the bird, however, I chose a unique spelling of her name to make "it" completely her own. We've only met one other girl with the same name, but spelled differently.

My daughter is the original, one and only, Quenarii on "this" planet in the entire universe. Ha!

I shared the news with her father, but we were on two different pages so I experienced my entire pregnancy as a single mother. Thank GOD I had my mom to talk to throughout "it." During "this" pregnancy we were best of friends.

Some of the most memorable experiences were my cravings for original Doritos chips dipped in chocolate chip ice cream and the stench of In & Out Burger, which made my morning sickness symptoms worse. I still, to "this" very day don't like the scent of In & Out Burger when I'm near one.

Now, about my big princess whom will turn 18-years old in less than two months. She's a beautiful, strong-willed, talented, intelligent, and a responsible, young Christian lady. My girl!!! She was a laid back baby and she's a laid back teen. Thank GOD!!!

She's always excelled academically and in her extracurricular campus activities. She was on the stepping team in middle school. She's currently on the dance-guard team and was a cheerleader during her junior year at her high school. I haven't even mentioned the role model she is to her peers and how she has stepped up in church when called upon.

A recommendation from her history teacher in middle school got her the opportunity to be accepted into the school she attends now. She was the first student at her high school to be accepted into a university. She's completing honors-level classes and has had a few advanced placement classes with the opportunity to earn college credits.


I really have a pretty-fantastic, awesome and amazing, well-representing, teen!

Because I once was a girl, I can comment accordingly. Girls are sassy and talk a lot. My teen is known by outsiders as quiet, but we know she can get beside herself with "that" mouth of hers. People tell me it's a common teenage phase, which helps, but I accept no excuses when "it" comes to respecting me as mom at all times. "This" was a huge challenge we faced last year, but "things" are shaping into positive gears between us as of now. I'm beyond glad.

My daughter is so much more on track in her life than I was at her age and I acknowledge "it." I do my best not to allow the financial setbacks I face to affect her having the best high school experience. "Where there's a will, there's a way" and I've got the will so ways are being made.

As we prepare for her prom, which happens to fall on the very same date as her birthday, I'm reminding myself, "that" by praying and keeping GOD at the forefront of my thoughts throughout each moment of each day, will help us to prosper. I cannot do "this" all on my own and I'm fully aware, but I know who can enable me to: JESUS!!!

I'm more blessed than I realize at times. My children are my greatest gifts. Becoming a mother to my beautiful firstborn daughter saved me from countless poor choices I'm sure I would've made. I felt the need to consider how my actions might impact my child's life. I still function with "this" thought in mind and "it" protects me from making too many careless decisions. I take my role as a mother seriously and witnessing how beautifully my big girl is blossoming is so rewarding.

So, does "this" uncaged bird sing and fly? Laughing out loud. Well, she does sing and once she completes her tumbling classes she'll be hand-springing in the air with wings of courage.

                                                                                             

Just Some. Moments.

                      Queen                                                                        Princesses     

Establishing our family legacy. 

Reflective Soul. Freny Azzy!!!

We have so much in common. Our approach to our home-life, work-life, and how we deal with men is quite similar. My friend Azzy is so much more than just my friend. I've adopted her as my sister. We share a mutual understanding about our friendship and respect "it" at all times.

We don't always agree and we speak bluntly to one another about our opinions/advice. I treasure being able to communicate openly and honestly, like "this." Not everyone's skin is thick enough to handle the bold truth, but Azzy and I can.

She was raised by both parents and is a mother to four boys; well, two are men now. Her mother told me, that she was spoiled rotten as a child by her father and is still a brat today. Laughing out loud.

She's a stubborn Taurus indeed! I've learned to accept her "no's" and to move on without getting frustrated because I couldn't persuade her otherwise. I've fussed at her time and time again, as she has also, fussed me down to the core. We are very much like sisters because we always work through our differences together.

"It" is safe to say, that we want to be in one another's lives because we both take the time putting our best efforts forth nourishing our relationship as friendsters. I love her so much and I'm blessed having her presence in my life!!!

I have yet to mention how brilliant she is. She speaks three different languages; American English, Spanglish/Spanish, and Creole. Her father taught her how to change the oil and tires on cars. She showed me the old-school way of securely discarding sensitive documents by throwing the excess paperwork in a barbecue pit and simply, setting it on fire. She forces me out of my comfort zone, which is sometimes necessary in order for me to stretch my capabilities. She's my rock.

Azzy is the fashionista of the bunch. She's brand conscious and always talking about my personal style of dress. We have a current bet going to see who'll reach their best level of fitness first by June 1. I plan to win. I'm going to beat her by incorporating a last minute crash course diet and power fitness regimen; sometime "this" month... Or even next month, while she takes the slow approach, battling with the daily pressures of temptation. Laughing within.

She keeps the fire lit beneath me. A constant reminder for me to present myself as my best self no matter what. She doesn't agree with me to please me and I need "that." Through her I see more of myself. Some sides needing more improvement and in other areas where I shouldn't neglect myself.

My Azzy can be a little mean, but so can I so I'm not at all judging. I love her as she is and I'm keeping her as my friendster forever. She is like a mirror to me and I've designated her as my life coach. Together, we're becoming stronger women, leading examples of how to run a household, and remaining success driven.

Spirit Food. Mr. CJ.

My playbrother is like a real brother, but seeing how I only had one biological brother whom was killed in 2003; I never want anyone to mistake either and I'll always keep my brother's memory alive by making mention of him.

There's an inside joke amongst those in my circle. They say, CJ and I are going to end up together. Laughing out loud and within. We know one another quite well, which is why I think it's pretty hilarious, that since we've been friends for so long other's think we should just "hook up" and become a couple. Neither of us would even consider jeopordizing our friendship on any attempt at becoming a couple.

CJ and I are exactly what the LORD wants us to be; friends. We share an honest friendship and a divine kinship. I learn a whole lot from him regarding the male perspective and he learns much about women through my personal insights. He has two younger sisters he grew up with so I take on the big sister role with him, although we're the exact same age; probably hours and minutes apart. We also share the same exact birthdate.

Aside from CJ being one of my most reliable friends, there are some milestones in my life where his presence will forever remain irreplaceable. He has a lifetime freedom pass into my life and he's definitely a VIP. I can't name every time or each occurrence where he's been dependable for not just me, but for my family as well because he's been here for me and my girls through almost everything.

He visited me in the hospital both times I gave birth. My daughters truly value him as their uncle. Every event we've invited him to, he attends. He's even surprised us with tickets to various outtings and performances. I can always count on him for a small loan when neeeded and he doesn't sweat me about the payback. He is listed as an emergency contact at both of my daughters' schools. By every account, he is my bestfriend, but I'm also very fortunate to count on him as my playbrother. He's the little brother I never had growing up and I love him just as he is!

Sidenote: He's a good man. One day he'll make a great husband and father to his own family. He loves the LORD with all of his heart and his daily actions are based upon "this" truth. Only GOD can fill him with the patience and understanding necessary to be categorized as a VIP in my life. I'm thankful, "that" he allows his cup to be filled with the Holy Spirit and for his willingness to deliver whatever/however accordingly.

I'm so blessed having him as a spiritual brother and to count on him as my friend. CJ is star in my world. I will cherish our friendship forever. 

#FACT

One More. Visual Beauty.

I didn't forget to add "this" beauty. I just didn't have any recent photos to use so I sent her a text to request one from her. See her fine chocolicious self now as she gets my blog all to herself today, too. 

My childhood BFF!

New Month. New Theme.

So, I've been considering what I'd blog about since the end of My Black History series ended yesterday. I'm liking how my blog flows with a theme. For this month's theme I want to highlight the rockstars (not literally) in my life.

I ran out of time with my hopes of doing "something" special and spectacular for some who were dear to my heart. I mentioned their names in one of my blog posts from last month. As the clock ticks, I'm realizing time won't wait for me to do anything. I just need to do what I can with what I'm capable of right here and right now.

Below, I'm going to list my very important people who deserve recognition from me. I'm simply listing their names today (in no particular order) to help me in the coming days as I share the joy, that they each bring into my life.

MamaVonn - Inherited mother from old apartment building
Sharon - My GODmother
LJ - My favorite cousin/BFF (I'll need her permission to blog about her so I don't get told off...lol)
Kaysh - My GODsister
Puma - My GODsister

CJ Foster - My Play-brother/BFF
Lizzy-Whizzy - GODmother to my children/BFF
Azzy - BestFriendster (More like a sister than friend)
Maysha - Childhood BFF
DawnGunn - High School Homegirl4Life
Banana - My big girl
Apple - My baby girl

Although, my list seems small in size, my folks are huge in heart and "that" is what counts the most!

If I'm a tree, then my loved ones are the branches. All else are just leaves, that come and go. 

My Black History: Day 16.

My Lovely Little Family!!!

"This" is our Black Present.

My Black History: Day 11.

It's said, that children mimic their parents behavior. Well, I definitely did with the status that my family makeup represents. Single Black mothers with two children from two different men. 

Easily categorized as just a statistic, but I know we're so much more than just "that." 

Mama and her two kids.

Me and mine.

We are GODs gifts and life is a gift HE gave to us!!!

Fabulous Friday in Los Angeles!

Isn't it? 

We lived to see the ending of "this" week and surely, have accomplished some "things." 

Consider how many others who haven't... 

Count your blessings and enjoy the weekend! 

So I'm... Finally back!

Before I explain why I abandoned my blog for so long I need to write a letter to my present self...

"Appearance can be deceitful."

Dear Ms. Lampkin,

     I love you and I miss you living within the present. You don't have to continue recycling old thoughts, stressing about your future, nor do you have to feel guilty about the total woman you are now. Rid yourself completely from acting off of the influence of others. Be very careful with whom and where you lend your time and how you spend your hard earned income. You are special. Not everyone is worthy of your personal attention, affection and time. I know you've felt bad about that, but no more.

     GOD has blessed you with two beautiful daughters whom your influence directly impacts. Focus more on what they need from you versus the world.They're intelligent and respectable young ladies who believe in and love their mom. Embrace that with each passing moment. They're growing up quickly and there's no reversing the chronological order of age.

     You are more than just okay. You're awesome! Make yourself remember that daily by the moment. Time isn't getting ahead of you. Your thoughts are, so slow down and turn all that thinking into action. "We're on information overload," says your brain cells. There's nothing more you need to do to prove to yourself or anyone else how intelligent you are. Overtime you've become a wonderful actress... (giggling to myself).

Remember some of your best roles?

• Happy mom: You put on your best face most days for your children regardless how you really feel.

• Caring daughter: You show concern for your mom even though she's your most challenging person to deal with.

• Sweet niece: You are available to your aunts and uncle when they call upon you and you show up with glee.

• Fun cousin: You bring the entertainment by simply being you.

• Best friend: Your inner circle knows you as a rock, someone trustworthy and truly there when needed.

• Employee: You carry yourself with such professionalism people believe you're in a position of authority and rely upon your due diligence in every area.

• BPT Editor: You use your education and skills to create awareness and to highlight relevant information to the entire congregation. 

• Single woman: You stand strong against all odds and can depend on yourself.

• Inner little girl: You possess a sweet innocence untainted by your adult experiences.

• Human: You care about ALL mankind and naturally interact well with all cultures. 

Please promise to never again forget who you are and all the greatness within you. Also, be willing to share and open yourself to new interactions and possibilities. You've got precaution down to a science and you don't have to fear or worry about ANYTHING. GOD has you. He always has. You know this, now live and own it!!!

Love Always,

Your True Self

Let's Talk. About LOVE!

Last night, my playbrother and I had an interesting conversation about "how the world/people is/are in 'this' day that we live in." We agreed that many folks are currently living in fear stemming from various reasons. Also, that so many people are unwilling to acknowledge/recognize and spread LOVE. It really IS a crying shame. However, together we "can" make a difference!

Two relationships touched me today. One was about the former NFL player, Chris Draft and his late-wife, Keasha Ruteleage-Draft. One of my friends posted Mr. and Mrs. Draft's wedding trailer onto Facebook where I first learned about their story. As sad as it is knowing, that they only shared 1-month together as a married couple, it's also amazingly incredible to see LOVE in ACTION shared by two people who obviously love one another without condition.

Please witness Mr. & Mrs. Draft in LOVE!!!

That IS LOVE. Lasting Opportunity Victorious Everyday. Undeniable GOD Strength!!!

The second relationship that caught my attention is between Jim Jones and Chrissy Lampkin. I just became aware of their relationship from the reality show that each starred in, "Love & Hip Hop." I didn't follow the show, but I did catch a reunion episode a couple of weeks ago. Today, I watched a few episodes, which aired on VH1's "Love & Hip Hop" marathon.

Naturally, I took notice to Chrissy's last name because I share the very same last name. I take pride in being a Lampkin and I wanted to see how well she represents the Lampkin name. I am proud of her. She stands her ground and takes action to get what she wants. She LOVES her man and IS in no way ashamed of "that" LOVE. Jim knows "this" and it's apparent the man LOVES her.

We should all mind our own business as we witness them minding theirs...

Both of the above mentioned relationships are/were founded on LOVE. It's evident by their outward gestures towards each other even on public display. The more I understand the truth about LOVE, I can wholeheartedly say today, that LOVE has no shame.

LOVE makes itself known. Period. 

How soon can we all stop questioning "it" and just let "it" be?