My Intended. Blogcation.

As some personal prioritized deadlines approach I feel a strong need to vacate from "this" space temporarily to give my undivided attention to my real live life tasks at hand. Over the next few months I'll be...

• Finalizing what's necessary to secure my eldest daughter's college admission, registration for classes and her big move out of state.
• Making the necessary preparations for her birthday/prom big bang event.
• Studying intensely about the organization I'm now employed by to further secure my position.
• Packing to put some "things" in storage.
• Disposing of many "things" that just don't need to follow us into our new place.
• Finding/securing a suitable location/place where we'll make "it" our new home.
• Moving into our new place and making "it" a home.
• Amongst other "things" unnamed at "this" present moment.

So, to those "that" do check in here to see what's new in my world, you'll have to check out my archives during the meanwhile as I take care of family business as head of my household. I shall return in due time with some new updates and more interesting stories, than I can share now. If no one tells you and you're not feeling any of "it" know "that" I love you as you are and accept you totally for who you may become, whether I've actually met you or not. Your presence here is enough to warrant my acknowledgement and general respect for the time you took to read my dear blog.

#AsUwereCarryOnAsIdotheSame

In Just. Four Weeks.

I will have an adult child by legal standards in exactly 30 days. I keep reminding her, that as long as she lives in my household and as long as I live she will respect me as her mother. Her future husband, kids, colleagues and circle of friends will as well. 

Or else...!!!

Attitude Refreshed.

In my new role at my job "it" involves many meetings, notes on top of more notes, and a willingness to do homework. There was a time in my life where once the end of the business day comes so do my efforts towards "it." I'm now in a position where I really want maximize my professionalism.

I always want to know what I'm doing and to be able to perform tasks with high efficiency. "This" is a first where I actually want to do the homework necessary to become more competent in my role. As tired as I feel right now, I'm going to study accordingly and be as ready as I need to be for the meeting tomorrow morning.

My mom used to say I had a very bad attitude. Sometimes I do, but it's not something I'm proud of so "it" is being checked daily as I remain aware of my need to improve in "this" area. I'm so grateful and appreciative for the faith, that my colleagues have in me, "that" I refuse to just float with the workflow. I plan to grow personally and professionally with "this" opportunity.

More than a splash I am. I'm a wave of new energy with a renewed spirit fit for regal crowning. 

Got my new bag. 

Next, I'm getting new shoes to go with my new walk. 

#strut

Around Here. Touching Hearts.

For the second time in less than a month, I've caused a woman whom I don't even know to shed tears. The first was a vibrant young lady, probably all of 18-years old. I went to sandwich spot called California Steak and Fries while my eldest daughter was at her tumbling class. She was the cashier there and full of personality.

For some odd reason, she began sharing stories with me about her cute boyfriend and an ugly one. Laughing within. She tickled my heart with her forwardness and I found myself not wanting to leave, but my daughter looks forward to me watching her practice so I had to jet out. I even told my children about "this" young lady.

The next week while on our way from my daughter's tumbling class I stopped by the sandwich spot again. I was hungy. Not that hungry, but I wanted to see if the sweet young lady was there and she was. I was happy to see her as if I really knew her. I asked her about her boyfriends and she said, "that" she let go of the cute one and replaced him. She told me how the ugly one was getting on her nerves and "that" she was going to replace him too. "This" little lady!

I guess "this" particular night was my night to share. I pulled up my younger daughter's fan page to show her how we had made some attempts towards getting her exposed to the entertainment industry. She made some suggestions and said we should just create a youtube channel with some interesting content instead of going the cattle call route. She said her former cute boyfriend was Instagram-famous and if we wanted, she could get him to shout my daughter out. I appreciated her enthusiasm, but we're on hold until further notice with "that" pursuit.

I inquired about her family and she said she was a middle sister of three girls and two boys. I said to her, "You all probably drive your mother crazy." I forgot what else, but I asked another question about her mother then she said her mother had passed away from breast cancer last December. I shared with her how I lost mine in 2014 to lung cancer. I told how abruptly "it" all happened and she began to tear up, which caused me to do the same. I beckoned for her to come from around the counter so that I could hug her and we cried together for a brief moment. "It" was an embrace "that" I believe both our hearts needed. Whether I ever see her again, I'm forever touched by her sweet spirit and strength.

The second occurance happened just about an hour ago. My youngest daughter and I were shopping inside of a Family Dollar discount store searching for some items for her school project. The place was cluttered inside and there was a long line with only one cashier. After finding what we needed, we got in line. "It" moved fairly quickly, however, some of the people in line were a little impatient.

One very ignorant man walked up to the front of the line and very rudely, asked the cashier, "You mean to tell me, you're gonna have me stand in this long line and it's only one cashier?" The cashier replied calmly, "I'm sorry sir there's only one other cashier and I sent her to lunch, plus she's new." The man responded, "So that's the answer?" She said, "Unfortunately sir, yes."

If the expression on his face was a loaded gun, she would've been shot. He signaled to his friend to come on and as he walked toward the door he said to the cashier, "Time is money. By the time I make it up there to you, you'll owe me money." The nerve! This man was dirty and had a whole lot of nerve being so disrespectful towards "this" woman. As he and his friend walked out of the store we were next up. I said to the woman, "GOD Bless you working here. I couldn't put up." I thought, that she began to appear flushed and when I looked up at her to grab my receipt, tears were streaming down her face. I told her don't cry, just pray and look for other jobs; to try temp-agencies.

As we walked out, my daughter said, "that's sad." I agreed. When we got into the car I felt so bad for the woman knowing all "that" she must put up with working there. I sat in the car for a moment thinking about what I could do to help her. I did the only "thing" I could, which was write down my contact information, the name of the temp-agency I worked for, and noted that I could help her with her resume if she wanted. I went back into the store and she still hadn't totally regained her composure, but I got her attention anyhow and passed her my little note. She took "it" and said thank you.

I'm glad the man left, but the entrance to the place is on the side, not facing the street and there was no security guard present. Just cameras throughout the store and probably in the parking lot. Bottom line, the location is not safe, especially for a woman to be manning the place alone. I'm strongly considering making an attempt to get in contact with the owner on her behalf, but the complaint is mine and mine alone. I wouldn't want to jeopardize her job. It's obvious she needs "it."

Why else would she subject herself to "that" treatment working there? Yes, I witnessed just one situation, but I saw deeper pain in her eyes and I wanted to remind her "that" she has options no matter how far-fetched the possibilities may seem at "this" present time.

"Where there's a will, there's a way."

#PrayingForUsAll

Work Oriented. Becoming More.

I got official notice today "that" I'm beginning my very first day of employment on Monday. "It" is pretty incredible how quickly this company moved things along to "buy" me out from the temporary agency I've working for since 2012. I've been on several assignments and "this" opportunity is by far the best!

Paying nearly $600 in health coverage has been stressing me financially to say the least. I've waited until the very last day of the month to pay the premium because all month long I contemplate on paying "it." The penalty for not having health coverage is much cheaper than my monthly premium times 12, but I have active children and we just can't be without "it." So, I bite the bullet as much as "it" has pained me. Thankfully, next month should be the last month I pay out of pocket because I'll be eligible for full benefits come June 2016.

I almost forfeited "this" opportunity because I've gotten so used to just being a temporary worker. I've been operating with a nonchalant attitude and it's only due to my intellect and the need to provide for my little family, that I've succeeded "this" far. After being interviewed by the individual whom I'll be reporting to, I felt so much more comfortable about switching hats. I explained, "that" I was nervous, but knew the opportunity wasn't one to pass on.

There's "something" to be said for people in the workplace who notice my capabilities. I began "this" job by completing minuscule tasks such as xerox copying, scanning and data-entry, but I performed the tasks like a scientist with a cheerful hearted smile. Sure, I know they saw my resume and were aware "that" I could do much more. Eventually, they did begin to ask me "to do" other "things." The interviewer told me during our first discussion that my work performance and interactions with others was receiving rave reviews. "This" really touched my heart.

So many times, I wanted to be appreciated for who I am and most people are energized when they know other's believe in them. I know "that" I can excel with "this" opportunity so I accepted "it" gladly. Further, I'm aware "that" I can use some professional coaching and mentorship. There's a whole lot of brainpower where I work and I respect "that." I want to be a reliable contributor and GOD willing I will.

Thank you LORD!!! For creating me, loving me, guiding me, and putting my life on a purpose-filled path. Without you I can do nothing. The best "thing" my mother did for me was show me how honor and praise you. I am standing strong in faith with every passing moment of each day. Thank you LORD!!!

Miss Maysha. She Woman.

Last, but definitely not least. My childhood BFF Maysha and I live on a rollercoaster within our friendship. At times, we're up, then we're going in circles and sometimes we crash. There's a bond which exists between us "that" neither of us can deny. We've experienced a whole lot together and we've also missed some beats in one another's lives.

She's beautiful and a pretty incredible woman. A mother to five children, but three are now adults. Her ability to persevere through challenging situations if a force to acknowledge. Of course, I can't rob her of the opportunity to share her own story so I'm sparing no personal details, however, I will share what she's meant to me and why she remains relevant in my life.

We've practically raised our children together. They share social networks and respect one another like family. We experienced our last pregnancies together and our daughters spent nearly every day of the first year of their lives together.

Growing up we were partners in crime. She'd tell her family she was at my house and I'd tell my mother I was down the street at her's, while we were blocks away flirting with older boys. We would call ourselves chocolate and vanilla.

I genuinely love my Maysha regardless what we've been through. Whether we're up or down, still I pray for her and her family. Not too long ago we were on an off-spell, but when she found out my mother passed away she came to check on me. In person. Being the loving, compassionate woman that she is, "it" wasn't a second thought to make sure I was ok under the circumstances.

I remember when I had my first daughter I couldn't seem to find a caring and safe babysitter to watch her while I worked nights. Even though Maysha had a housefull, she still extended help and kept my daughter for me on several occasions. My daughter would always spit up after a feeding and "it" took a whole lot more than just dabbing away the mess. She would have to change my daughters clothes, get her settled and calm again. Then she'd have to mop up the vomit. Would you know "this" phenomenal woman didn't complain once? Unbelievable, because I could hardly handle "this" from my own baby.

Maysha had to become a woman long before her mind and body was developed into one. She remains hopeful and determined, while putting forth her best efforts to create a comfortable lifestyle for her family. Her eldest son is now a father so she's a glamma (her word). Laughing out loud.

I must mention all the whoopla we cause when we go out in public together. Being single and liking to mingle is an understatement when we hit the town. Good "thing" we've been so busy attempting to readjust our lifestyles, "that" we haven't gone out in years, but I feel an itch coming on and she's mentioned "that" we're long overdue so "this" summer better watch out.

What we share in common most now is the lense we view our families from. Unfortunate, but a reality which we both have had to come to grips with. The first step towards our healing is acknowledgement. The second; taking positive action to make a difference in our own little families consisting of our children and circles of true friendship.

#GODain'tdonewithUSyetbetterasksomebody!

Resurrection Sunday 2016. Easter.

                   

 

           

Thank you JESUS!!!

I Love. My Friends.

...just when I'm feeling down with my back against the wall, "something" special happens, which reminds me, that I am fine just as I am and everything will fall into it's proper place at the right time!

Fantasy Happy. Wednesday!

My Life-Size Image.

My Robin. Human Bird.

The one I was pregnant with, that a cutoff former family member tried to persuade me to terminate and not go through with "it" because she "didn't want me to be a statistic." I'm so glad, that I made up my own mind as I normally do. My baby girl keeps me on my toes because she's my wild child. She's enthusiastic about life, experiences and opportunities.

I remember missing my cycle in 2004. I didn't want to believe "that" I was pregnant because I had just told Mr. Man I didn't want to proceed any further in our relationship. Considering how I had just graduated from Pasadena City College with two Associate degrees and two vocational certifications, I thought the timing of my pregnancy wasn't too bad. Another unplanned, but still a blessing and gift.

Honestly, if I had interest in and wanted to create a new family with Mr. Man I believe he would've sided with me. I concluded, that he wasn't the man for me so I went through "this" pregnancy as a single mother by choice. "It" wasn't such a big deal to me experiencing "this" the second time.

When I told my mother, I remember like yesterday; she said, "How could you be so stupid?" I just replied, "how very rude, well there's no turning back now I'm having another baby and that's 'that'!" Rahbyn became my mother's "roadog" once she was born.

With "this" child of mine is where I learned what real parenting is. I had so much help with my firstborn daughter. When my second came along the help was all, but gone. The lifetime babysitter I thought I'd have around to help me raise 20 kids if I had them, passed away when I was 6-months pregnant. The LORD showed me how I had taken Ms. Mary for granted and "that" would be no more.

Of course, my youngest daughter would be the one to take me through all the "things" I missed raising my eldest daughter due to all the help I was privy to. Hardly anyone, aside from my mother would babysit Rahbyn because she was and still is, an attention seeking, busy-body, millions of questions-asking, child. There aren't many breaks with "this" one. Laughing within.

Because she possesses my curious personality, I have to keep close watch on her. I also, cannot trust many people to help me with her, because she can be overwhelming to handle at times and I don't want anyone to mistreat her out of frustration. She can be a bit too generous so I curb "that" as best as I can to prevent her from being taken advantage of.

I will admit, that because of the age gap between my daughters they each have to make personal sacrifices in order to keep us united as a family unit. What I mean by "this" is sometimes one can't participate in "something" which the other can and vice-versa. They have age appropriate interests "that" I must balance between. It'll be my youngest and I, once my eldest goes off to college this summer and I'll be able to give her more of my undivided attention.

Rahbyn Marie is an aspiring actress, gymnast, dancer and singer. 

Yes, entertaining is what she wants "to do." I've taken some beginning steps to help her reach these goals, but we're on hold while I do what's needed to ensure, that my eldest gets situated in college. I almost need a team or to become a supportive man's wife in order to pursue these acting dreams of hers aggressively because casting agents don't care about short notice nor do they understand my financial struggle and time constraints as a single parent. I'm brainstorming in the meanwhile how we'll approach a second round at "it."

The apple, which is one of her nicknames doesn't fall far from tree regarding intellect. She's much more compassionate than her sister and I. We're all sweet, but she's twice as. A little perfectionist who is also a role model for her peers. She excels academically, is passionate about learning, and likes to help. She's very loving too. I love my babies!!!

I named her Rahbyn because I wanted my children's names to sync and because I'm authentically unique, the spelling of her name is different from the bird name Robin. Yes, she sings too, but currently is more passionate about her acting, gymnastics and dancing. The sky is the limit and my human birds are going to fly high. No doubt. Manifesting!

My Canary. Human Bird.

My firstborn daughter was long overdue. I was beyond excited when I found out I was pregnant with her because I wanted to become a mom since middle school. So much, "that" I wrote down a list of names for baby boys and baby girls. Quenarii's name was taken from my personal list. Her name is pronounced as canary like the bird, however, I chose a unique spelling of her name to make "it" completely her own. We've only met one other girl with the same name, but spelled differently.

My daughter is the original, one and only, Quenarii on "this" planet in the entire universe. Ha!

I shared the news with her father, but we were on two different pages so I experienced my entire pregnancy as a single mother. Thank GOD I had my mom to talk to throughout "it." During "this" pregnancy we were best of friends.

Some of the most memorable experiences were my cravings for original Doritos chips dipped in chocolate chip ice cream and the stench of In & Out Burger, which made my morning sickness symptoms worse. I still, to "this" very day don't like the scent of In & Out Burger when I'm near one.

Now, about my big princess whom will turn 18-years old in less than two months. She's a beautiful, strong-willed, talented, intelligent, and a responsible, young Christian lady. My girl!!! She was a laid back baby and she's a laid back teen. Thank GOD!!!

She's always excelled academically and in her extracurricular campus activities. She was on the stepping team in middle school. She's currently on the dance-guard team and was a cheerleader during her junior year at her high school. I haven't even mentioned the role model she is to her peers and how she has stepped up in church when called upon.

A recommendation from her history teacher in middle school got her the opportunity to be accepted into the school she attends now. She was the first student at her high school to be accepted into a university. She's completing honors-level classes and has had a few advanced placement classes with the opportunity to earn college credits.


I really have a pretty-fantastic, awesome and amazing, well-representing, teen!

Because I once was a girl, I can comment accordingly. Girls are sassy and talk a lot. My teen is known by outsiders as quiet, but we know she can get beside herself with "that" mouth of hers. People tell me it's a common teenage phase, which helps, but I accept no excuses when "it" comes to respecting me as mom at all times. "This" was a huge challenge we faced last year, but "things" are shaping into positive gears between us as of now. I'm beyond glad.

My daughter is so much more on track in her life than I was at her age and I acknowledge "it." I do my best not to allow the financial setbacks I face to affect her having the best high school experience. "Where there's a will, there's a way" and I've got the will so ways are being made.

As we prepare for her prom, which happens to fall on the very same date as her birthday, I'm reminding myself, "that" by praying and keeping GOD at the forefront of my thoughts throughout each moment of each day, will help us to prosper. I cannot do "this" all on my own and I'm fully aware, but I know who can enable me to: JESUS!!!

I'm more blessed than I realize at times. My children are my greatest gifts. Becoming a mother to my beautiful firstborn daughter saved me from countless poor choices I'm sure I would've made. I felt the need to consider how my actions might impact my child's life. I still function with "this" thought in mind and "it" protects me from making too many careless decisions. I take my role as a mother seriously and witnessing how beautifully my big girl is blossoming is so rewarding.

So, does "this" uncaged bird sing and fly? Laughing out loud. Well, she does sing and once she completes her tumbling classes she'll be hand-springing in the air with wings of courage.

                                                                                             

How I. Love Them!!!

My Beauties!!! 

Just Some. Moments.

                      Queen                                                                        Princesses     

Establishing our family legacy. 

All About. Mine.

"This" week "it" will be all about my daughters. My blogging "that" is. These two keep me busy.

My girls at the WGSACs Miles' Davis Exhibit.

Me and my lovelies!!!

Nineteen Years Ago. "This" Date.

I was 19-years old. I almost accidentally checked out of life due to personal lack of self-control and rage during a moment... which eventually passed. The experience changed me. I'll have to say for the better. Had I not gone through suffering the consequences of such behavior "that" day; there's no telling what today for me, would be.

"It" may have been around "this" very hour on March 11, 1997. I remember waking up in the intensive care unit at Daniel Freeman Memorial Hospital, hooked up to monitors with my family surrounded around me. I remember exactly what my mother and brother said to me. My mom said, that I had been in surgery a long time. My brother asked me who was involved and told me he would go blow up the spot...

###

Time really does fly by.

 I love & miss them... They each equipped me with the strength and courage to stand. As I do now.  

Life checked me.

GOD Saved Me!!!

#LessonsLearned

*Daniel Freeman Memorial Hospital's emergency staff were on task, highly-skilled in their medical professions and helped to save my life. They also helped me give birth to new life and assisted with saving hers. How could a place like "this" close?

It's all about the money.

Here. Briefly.

I'll return to highlighting my VIPs next week...

My Black History: Day 21.

Well, look at "this." I'm blogging for my 201st time on day 21 of my Black History series and it's leap year. I have a couple of "things" to mention within today's post so here I go...

As the very last day of my own Black history month of recognition, I'm reminded about the significance of numbers. Seven as being very Holy to me. So, capping my series at 21 feels like I'm in the right place at the right time. My family consists of 3 members and by my personal calculations I've done a good "thing" here with "this."

Remember the white board, that I brought into our house which ultimately became our inspiration board? Well, it's still making good use. My youngest daughter drew a picture commemorating Black History. I'm so touched by her creativity/artistry. Black History month keeps us informed and teaches the younger generations about all the challenges we've overcome and those, which we still face as Black people in America.

"No More Segregation!!!" That's what my little girl meant.

I agree. Diversity over division. 

So, last leap year I wrote a letter to my future husband with hopes that by this leap year I'd be married. Well, I'm no one's wife, not engaged and can not honestly say, "that" I'm in a serious relationship. Still not time for me and I'm ok with "it." All in GODs timing so I'll just continue to hold onto my faith and wait for the lifemate, that He is purposely readying for only me.

My momentum for blogging is at an all time high. I look forward to these moments when I force myself to stop whatever "it" is I'm doing to turn inward and to concentrate on my own thoughts, while also, creating "this" digital journal, that I can refer to at my leisure. "It" is indeed, a very good "thing." 

"Won't stop. Can't stop. Not now."

My Black History: Day 19.

Quotes I've heard in the sanctuary... Elsewhere too.

"If HE brought you to it, HE will bring you through it!"

"Ain't nobody like the GOD I serve."

"Can't nobody do me like JESUS!!!"

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths."

-Proverbs: 3:5-6

Text taken from the Bible.

I don't know where my mother cut out this scripture from, but it sits in the same place where she left it in her bedroom, which I utilize now. Growing up attending church, we memorized many scriptures. I only remember a few now and "this" one is my motto. I'm forever grateful, that my mama taught me the best lesson ever, which is to praise the LORD and to acknowledge Him in all my ways. I really don't know where I'd be without my faith in the LORD JESUS CHRIST!!! 

I Must. Exercise Discipline.

Oh my, I'm fighting temptation at "this" present moment. I will defeat "it" because "I can." It's Holy Week and I'm consecrating...

PRAY FOR ME!!!