Fear GOD. Only!

What are you afraid of scary?

It's kind of weird that I find myself more fearfully-reactive towards bugs than human beings. I wish that I didn't feel fear, but sometimes I do. It must stem from not knowing what might happen. In church, we refer to this as a lack of FAITH!

As I mature, I'm noticing that my compassion for all life-forms is growing. Now don't get me wrong, because I'm not very knowledgeable about various insects, as a defense mechanism I do find it necessary to get them out (by any means necessary). Blame my ignorance for killing the spiders, roaches and unidentified bugs that enter my home. Outdoors: Bugs worry not.

In my mid 20s, I was experiencing fear of failure. I felt trapped in an occupation that I lost respect for, but at that time I saw no easy way out. My problem was that I was scared to take a chance without knowing the outcome. I had become so used to my routine that it was difficult imagining a better one or better yet, taking the risk with creating a new agenda for myself.

I feel born again. I've reached a point in my life where being able to recognize an issue by my willingness to acknowledge it, has helped me learn how to resolve and move on. Fear no longer disables me because I refuse to give it life.

We all get spooked sometimes, but don't let fear rule you!

At age 33, I can say with confidence that I know what my real problem in this life has been. It's the fear. The fear that need not exist because I should only have it for GOD.

Friendship Friday!

Real friends are like family. Some friends even rank higher on my love scale in comparison to family members. I am blessed to have a wonderful support group of friends. I never had problems making acquaintances, but only a small group of people remain consistent in my life as friends.

I feel like a teenager on Fridays. Early in the day, I'm thinking about where I'll go, what I'll do, if I'll bring the kids with or allow them out elsewhere. Friday will always feel like a party day for me whether I go out to party or not. My friends can count on a visit or a call at the very least over the weekend.

As I mature, I'm having to make more responsible decisions even though I have the freedom to do what I want at any given time. Weekday visits just don't work well anymore while the kids are in school and while (some of us anyway) we have work to report to M-F.

Routine is necessary in my household. Sometimes, I want to break from the routine, but I have to consider how it affects my children. I can't have them out on my fun time when they have school obligations like homework, etc. The only people who I'll break my routine for (if/when necessary) are my real friends.

Friends are VIP everyday and should be treated accordingly!

I watch carefully, how I label people in my life. My play-brother Chris for instance, is so much more than a friend. He's like a brother. I can count on him for nearly anything. How awesome is that? As a single woman, he provides hope that real good men, single men who want to do right in this life -do exist. I thank GOD for him and I pray that all his dreams come true.

Until next time, Chris and I off to enjoy breakfast together this morning. I'm so blessed to have great, GOD-fearing people present in my life. I see. I recognize. I love. I contribute. I am!

Get Up & Go! NOW.

"I can. It's in me I believe. I can. I can learn. I can succeed. I can achieve high goals. Yo puedo. Yo puedo. I can. I can. I... Can!"

The quote above is from lyrics in a song written by the late Mrs. Linda Smith (some other teachers as well) who was the choir instructor at 93rd Street Elementary School where I graduated from. It's great that some of the memories we have are forever lasting. I'll never forget Mrs. Smith. She saw potential in me and always encouraged me with enlightening conversations.

Today, my energy level is quite low. This morning feels rough. I'm still getting over the "hump." Remember it's Thursday (not wonderful Wednesday), but I'm pushing myself to accomplish somethings today regardless... because I know that "I can."

I had a difficult time rolling out of bed and barely got the kids to school on time. While they were getting dressed, all I could think about was getting home to go back asleep. That thought hasn't passed, but I have some things "to do" that I want done today. Like posting this blog!

When I was attending CSUDH I felt like the biggest procrastinator (of course not the only one) and if I didn't complete an assignment while I had idle time, it only took me longer once I did it. Not to mention on more than one occasion, I lost points because I didn't take care of business like I should have.

Now that I've graduated, broader life lessons are taking place. Effort does count by any measure. I'm truly learning how to stop taking advantage of time. I know nothing about tomorrow. Why wouldn't I push through today with all that "I can?"

Wonderful Wednesday!

Don't you just love mid-week day?

Commonly referenced by many as "hump day" well, Wednesday happens to be my favorite day of the week. I decided this when I was working for a Temp-Agency in the late 90s. It was because at days end, I knew that I had gotten over the "hump" within my work week.

One more day to get through until the weekend (can't forget payday on Friday) and 2-days within the week that I had accomplished something!

Being the "to do" thinker that I am, anything done makes me so happy. Often, I place too many "to do's" on my list (when I make one). I wake up daily thinking about all that I have "to do." On average, 6/10 things get done throughout my day that I'm satisfied with. What isn't may rollover to the following day... or not.

Let's just say that if I have something that NEEDS to get done -it DOES!

I look forward to Wednesdays because I wake up on Sundays feeling a sense of pressure that I must prepare for the week ahead. On Mondays, I begin my day with irrational expectations of myself for the upcoming week. By Tuesday, I'm stressed about what I didn't accomplish on Monday and I get real close to convincing myself that my week isn't going well.

Somehow, on Wednesday morning I realize that it's just the middle of the week and that I've been tripping on myself unnecessarily. I'm able to reflect on how my week began and analyze how it's progressing.

Wise
Enthralling
Deliverable
Noteworthy
Exact
Satisfying
Dedicated
Andrea
Yes! :)

In 2003, my big brother was killed on my favorite day of the week. It took some time, but Wednesdays are once again very significant in my life and a day that I'm able to balance with a smile.

Encouraging? Joke.

If you're going to encourage someone, be sincere. Be wholehearted and make sure they're positioned properly to receive the inspiration!

Last night, my GODsister and I went to a comedy show with "Big Les" as the headliner. We arrived late (I've got to work on time management) and missed our friends performance who we went to show support for. Our friend does her thing with the jokes and she's admitted how difficult it is to make people laugh. I even told her that she has heart for getting up on stage and speaking her mind.

Big Les took the mic last and she started with a bang clowning the venue and its decor. It was funny. I thought she went in a little rough with her expression of gratitude being there. She frequently used the term "despairing" to describe the ambiance of the location. How very depressing to some of us in the audience who might have felt like we were really somewhere.

Who am I to judge/analyze any comic's style/delivery? A fan. How and on who I spend my time/money is based upon my opinions/feelings about a person/performance and/or product/service. This may stem from a personal preconception, experience, word-of-mouth or just a simple curiosity.

Big Les is hilarious and skilled at her craft. Within her set, she took a moment to inspire up and coming female comediennes. I believe her intent was to inspire, but the timing was out of sync. She publicly complimented one comedienne and said to the other two, "yall gotta get it together..."

Now is it a big deal that they were put on blast? Yes and no.

YES, because female comediennes are already outnumbered by male comics and the best way to competitively succeed is for these women to exercise a mutual respect for one another. I found it to be quite disrespectful that Big Les didn't wait and use her personal time to critique the ladies privately. It was not "Comic Idol" and I don't think anyone in the audience expected to witness or for any other comic present -to be the subject of poor judgement/analysis.

THINK: The show flyer has been their Facebook profile pic promoting the event for 2-weeks and female comics are working diligently (and together) to climb the ladder of success. 

NO, because they're comediennes and should have tough skin knowing the game. Probably isn't the first and wont be the last time someone says something about their performance that is less than pleasing. One person's opinion only carries the weight we allow. Those that judge have been judged by others and it's likely that we have no idea how bad it may have been for them.

THINK: Resistance develops strength and knowing GOD allows us to overcome any obstacle, situation and/or circumstance. 


Motivation is a beautiful monster. Let the hate motivate GREATNESS!

Saying Something...

Okay, so today is the day. The day that I release the mute button from my thought expression. I've been considering blogging for some time now and I've decided to give it a "GO" today. I have a lot to say. A whole lot to say about many things, but I'll choose my topics and breathe in between words wisely. I'll say what I want to, how I want and when at my leisure and you- accept it just as it is!

From about age 3, I can remember being told that I talk too much. It never bothered me until I got into middle school when I grew tired of defending myself in physical altercations. After setting a verbal appointment to fight a neighborhood friend whom I wasn't really angry with, I began to believe that maybe I do talk too much.

As I kid, I knew the importance of keeping your word. I had that fight that I really didn't want to be involved in, simply because I told so many people that I was going to. It wasn't brutal nor was it fun. We gave the neighborhood more mess to talk about, but she and I lost a great friendship. Neither of us wanted to fight, but since we talked about it, we mutually decided that we had to "BE" about it. Too bad neither of us spoke up before it happened.

Since then, I've allowed my quiet nature to lead many of my decisions that involve dealing with others on various levels. This has worked for me personally, professionally and academically, but I'm now tired of being quiet. It seems that I unnecessarily analyze probable outcomes for something I might say. When I think too long about it I end up saying nothing at all. Then I just wonder... (what if I had shared what I was thinking).

I remember hating to just wonder. I'd rather know. True.