In Another. Four Years.

Leap Year 2012

So we wont see February 29th for another 4-years. I don't personally know anyone with a birthday on this day nor do I remember anything significant taking place on a Leap Year. Today I'm going to make it important.

I read a suggestion online that said we ought to do something rare on this day. So I did. I flirted back with someone who I believe may have an eye for me. What's so rare about this?

I have a whole lot of pride when it comes to interacting with men. Sometimes I feel justified for being "this" way. Others, I feel like I should put pride aside, but letting go of my pride (regarding men) is "something" I rarely do.

The gentleman that I sent a flirtatious signal to doesn't know much about me. I'm preparing to let my hair down in the relationship department in the near future. I have no idea exactly when or with whom. Call it a "women's intuition" because I'm no psychic.

When Leap Year happens again in 2016, I'll almost be 40-years old. Then what? Well, I'm about to make a confession...

I hope to be sharing life in LOVE with my soul mate. It's such a jungle in the dating scene and yes I 'll go further by stating, that we all need somebody. Not just anybody though. I truly believe there's "someone for everyone."
_________________________________________________________________________________

                        Wednesday - February 29, 2012

Dear Future Hubby of Mine,

I'm sorry we may be a little out of control. We don't really know what it's like having a man in charge of our family. For a long time I've been calling all the shots and it took me a longer while to admit, that I wouldn't find proper balance as a woman of the house in your complete absence.

I've been waiting for you. I knew you'd find me in due time. I'm confident that you not only desire me above any other woman, but you also need me and have no shame admitting so. I just LOVE you so much all ready!!!

The little girl inside of me has been yearning for her daddy all my life. It also doesn't hurt having a father figure present, that my daughters can find guidance and protection from on a daily basis. I told my girls that we ought to enjoy the time in our household where no man exists because it's going take some adapting once you take the lead.

I know that we'll experience challenges together, but I promise to fight with respect, loyalty, strength, patience, kindness and LOVE to keep our union sacred. More importantly, I've rid myself of fear about us and I've been practicing on my own to be the best wife I'm capable of being. I'm so excited about our future together.

P.S.  It's been a long time coming, but everything great is done in GODs time and I will accept each day FAITHfully knowing "this" to be true!

With unconditional LOVE, PRAYER & SUPPORT,















Your Mrs. :*

Okay. Let's Go!!!

Oh my goodness. Seems it's another one of these days where I'm a little too unfocused and unable to describe how I'm feeling in a manner, that I feel makes sense. Yet, I'm thinking about a whole lot of "things" at "this" moment...

One step at a time.

My Little Niece: Fantasia!

Yesterday, my children and I took my niece home to her new apartment. I can hardly believe that she'll be 20-years old in April. My late brother's first born is all grown up and stepping out into the world on her own.

I remember being 13-years old when I found out that I had become an aunt. It was so exciting for our family anticipating the arrival of my mother's first grandchild. I learned a whole lot about parenting having my niece around.

She was like a first child to me. A few of my friends were teen parents and shamefully, I wanted to be one. So when she was born I felt like I had my own little baby. I too, shared similar responsibilities caring for my niece as a mother would by feeding her, changing diapers, bathing, dressing, teaching some of her first lessons, amongst other miscellaneous parental duties.  

I will admit, that I've had some difficulty adjusting to her adulthood. She laughs at me because we both know that I still treat her like she's my eldest daughter's age sometimes. I'm just a bit over protective of her and I want to maintain the loving respect between us. No matter how much older she gets I'll still be her elder and want to help her make righteous decisions for her life.

I am proud of her and I LOVE her very much!!!

Well Spent. Time Solo.

I took myself on an afternoon date to the movies today. It's been a while since I've gone to see a flick by myself. The last movie I saw was with my eldest daughter.

Tyler Perry's new film "Good Deeds" is excellent! His talent is anointed and remarkably unquestionable. Not only did he write the screenplay, but he directed and starred in the leading role as Wesley Deeds. His character portrayal was very attractive and seemed quite natural.  

I've experienced some feelings of guilt about being a parent and how I spend my time when my daughters aren't with me. The more mature I'm becoming; the more I realize, that my children can only do so much with me and when time permits I should work on separating myself better as an individual. After all, I am a single full-time parent with desires of my own.

I am human. I am a woman. I am an individual.

Thursday: Thinking...

Dreaming. Imagining. Fantasizing.

Wednesday. Wins.

I thought that I'd be more productive "this" week. I have taken care of a few "things," but I had so much more in mind to accomplish. My willpower to push beyond laziness today has been absent.

It must be my diet. I'm not on any diet, but perhaps I should pay closer attention to "it" because I've been experiencing sluggishness and I don't like "it." Lack of focused physical activity is also "something" I'm guilty of.

I better get "it" together. I heard a commercial on the radio today about getting in shape for the Summer. If I start now then I know I'll see/feel positive results by then. What am I waiting on?

Getting in shape for me personally, isn't just about my physique. My goal is to work from within out, which is not a simple workout. Retraining/improving the ways that I think/function will help me to create a successful fitness agenda.

I'm certain, that once I do get on a physical fitness program I'll be unstoppable. Just as I am with posting my blog. Etched in words so I can now use "this" to take action.

First Try. Not Bad.

We had guests join us for dinner on Sunday evening. I wanted to serve a full course meal with an appetizer and all, but "things" didn't go as planned. My friend and her daughter did leave our place with a full stomach anyhow.

The appetizer never got served. I wasn't aware that my friend's daughter doesn't like shrimp, which ended up being the main entree because the round tip beef roast was no where near well done when everyone wanted to eat. The mashed potatoes, roasted brussel sprouts and cornbread, turned out the best and these side dishes are what saved the night. Shaking my head.

I did get to send some slices of the roast home with my friend. It was completely done minutes after we all ate. My eldest daughter tasted a few pieces and told me that it was very good. Go me! I am shocked because I usually get a "good" or an "okay" from her about the cuisines that I make. I try.

At around the age of 17-years old I made the decision to stop eating meat. Not only red meat, but poultry and seafood as well. I was successful until I became pregnant with my eldest when I was 19-years old. My prenatal care physician recommended that I include meat within my diet so I welcomed seafood and poultry back into my life.

To this day, still no red meat. Only one voluntary encounter with a beef rib on the fourth of July a couple of years ago because I was drawn in by the barbecue scent while it was cooking on the grill. I also wanted to see how my body would react since I hadn't eaten any beef for so many years. No negative effect, but I haven't craved for anything beef since that very rare moment.

I have on more than one occasion, accidentally ingested pork since giving up meat. Accidental ingestion how, right? Well, both instances happened when I dined out. Once from a fast food chain and again at a Jamaican Restaurant. I only knew after consuming the food I had ordered. My digestive system was not happy with what I ate and I'm convinced "it" contained pork.

Recently, I've been purchasing beef to cook for my daughters. Much of their diet at home has consisted of poultry and seafood since they grew old enough to chew solid food. I made the decision long ago, that I wouldn't cook what I don't eat. Now that my eldest is a teenager she's become very vocal about her preferences. She loves steak and says, that I always cook chicken.

She's enjoyed the steaks I've been practicing with. I decided to be bold and slow-bake a round tip beef roast for the first time this past Sunday. I followed a recipe that I found on the Internet and began early preparations for "it" on Saturday evening.

I was so disappointed that it wasn't ready for Sunday dinner because I had undercooked it on Saturday night. It needed more than reheating to complete Sunday's meal so I felt like I had failed on "this" first attempt. I'll need a bit more experience cooking different cuts and types of meats to increase my confidence with doing so.

My friend hasn't said anything about the roast yet. I took a plate to my mother yesterday and she shared some with my niece. They said it tasted good and tender...

Feels Like: A Sunday.

Don't we just LOVE 3-day weekends? Particularly, the common Monday through Friday 40-hour work week crowd. I enjoy having another day that feels like an extra day over the weekend.

It just throws me off "sometimes." Either I'm a day ahead of myself or a day behind during weeks that include a holiday. I had to keep reminding myself, that today is Monday and I have my blog business to handle before the day ends. So here I am!

My eldest daughter and I went downtown today. I don't really care for "window shopping," but it's been a while since my youngest daughter has been elsewhere leaving me and her sister together so I gave in to my big girl's request. We had a great time eying some items in several shops where we plan to go back and do some real shopping.

I enjoyed our conversations about various "things" while we were out. Sometimes, I'm so busy giving orders, that these kind of quality moments don't occur as often as we'd (both) like. My daughter and I can talk when we really want to and we certainly do. We argue (jokingly) about who cuts whom off before the story or their sentence was finished. I find this funny because some people can't get us to utter more than a simple a greeting and wonders when we're more social.

I look forward to what "this" week may bring. A new day is accompanied with new thoughts and "something" I hope highly for. I plan to be productive and get ample rest. I'll bet the days will fly by though...

I Am: Personally Touched.

Tomorrow is Whitney Houston's funeral. I almost resisted blogging about her today because there's so much being said about her as "it" is. Her death has affected me though.

When Michael Jackson passed away I felt more shocked than anything else. He too, was a phenomenal talent taunted by the media about his personal life. What I commonly feel for both Michael and Whitney is, that they're finally free from all the scrutiny they each endured for so long. I know now they'll worry no more.

I pray that we'll let all the dead rest in peace. It'll take time for everyone grieving to accept life without those whom they cared for so deeply. Even longer for those grieving who truly knew and LOVED them. We have to let go of the sadness so that their spirits might live joyously within us by remembering their life (which we were BLESSED to be part of) as they'd like.

KJLH Radio has been playing Whitney's music all day. I keep thinking about her song choice when she gave what we fans will always remember as her final performance. Of every song she could've chosen, with no hesitation she delivered "YES, JESUS LOVES ME." 

PRAISE GOD!!!

Giving Myself. A Break.

On "this" date.

I Want. Wednesday.

I wanted to be done typing my blog by now... Shaking my head. This IS my pressure-free zone so I'm always excused here. Especially on a Wednesday! Right? Not quite...

I have felt a little pressured with getting my blog posted on some dates. By whom? Me. Laughing out loud! Why?

Well, because it's important to me. Since blogging for my very first time ever a little more than 3-months ago, "it" has taken on a structure of it's own. I pay my respect for "it" by making myself available "to do" it regularly. I truly believe, that through "this" process I'm relearning about the "things" I wanted as a child. I'm actually discovering what I really want as an adult...

It's been stated before and I'll reiterate, "life IS a trip." Just thinking about formulating any positive expression drawn from a simple thought, encounter and/or experience is exciting to me. I want a whole lot of "things," but what do I really need???

GOD IS
thee 
ONLY 1 
who knows!!!
            
I Want Prayer List:

• To be friendlier, more loving, and helpful.
• To have financial freedom and an abundance to share with generations to follow.
• To acquire a husband that wont mind me feeling-like I'm the boss while he LOVEs me as his Queen and spoils our little royal princesses.   
• To give my children what they want (within reason) and everything they need.
• To be worry-free and confident 24/7.
• To stay healthy and always feel beautiful.
• To honor and serve GOD through JESUS CHRIST with the HOLY GHOST!!!

Valentine Tuesday. Taco Love.

Today has been a pretty good day. I didn't see the usual amount of vendors out selling their various Valentine's Day products this week or last. It wasn't even that difficult finding (surprise) last minute treats at Ralph's this morning for my daughters and my mother.

My cousin came over with her companion and her GODsister for a short while. I enjoyed their visit. I went to visit my GODmother at her job after not seeing her for months. We're planning to have lunch together next week.

Most people are familiar with "Taco Tuesday" at many restaurants. I have yet to experience "it" at a restaurant, but I have gotten together with girlfriends to enjoy our very own "Taco Tuesday" on a few occasions. There are also a few hamburger stands that sell tacos on Tuesdays for $1, which we frequent.

I didn't buy any tacos today because I decided to just make some at home. Hands down: Mine taste better and I'm sure they're much healthier for us than those Tuesday taco specials. The Valentine cookie was tasty too, but "it" was purchased.  

Of course, my children enjoyed their Valentine's Day. My eldest took Valentine pastries to share with her friends at school and my youngest took Valentine cards accompanied with stickers to exchange with hers. They each brought home sweet goodie bags filled with items given to them by their friends. I now have some midnight chocolates to munch on! ;)

 A LOVELY DAY!!!

Resist. Morbid Thinking.

What a weekend, right? I am utterly shocked about Whitney Houston passing away on Saturday afternoon. My children and I were inside the beauty supply paying for our items when we overheard a customer say to someone, that she learned the news from her feed on Twitter. I couldn't believe "it" because I had heard on the radio a day or two before, that Whitney had just attended Kelly Price's Pre-Grammy Party. 

Today, I am mentally exhausted. Regrettably, I allowed my own curiosity to be led by the media-driven circus (online) as I clicked from website to website for hours reading information surrounding her untimely death. The amount of ignorance, hate and pure disrespect published about her circling the Internet is massive. It's really so uncalled for and irrelevant to our personal lives. Must I also mention how quickly one can gain access? One being anyone.

I am guilty of wasting time by simply reading about people's negative statements and pagan beliefs. All "I can" really do is pray for strength for her family, friends, peers and fans. Nothing anyone says will ever change how beautiful Whitney Houston's vigorous spirit touched my life throughout her entire career.

She was more than a celebrity. She was a real person. Really "Every Woman." Most importantly, her LOVE for GOD was shameless!

Mind GOD. Mind your own matters. Seek a better understanding about HIS POWER through HIS WORDS!!!

Ooh Yeah! What's Baking?

I've been feeling a high sense of appreciation for my kitchen and everything in it! With the grocery shopping accomplished early within the week and a little overdue cleaning finally out of the way, it felt great prancing around inside my own fine dining facility. Why do I ever pay to eat anywhere else? Shaking my head...

To look in my cabinets and find what I need or see what's missing is such a blessing. It really IS!!! My playbrother tells me that I operate on a great system. A program that compliments my lifestyle and works well for my family...

Today, I refilled all of our prescriptions. I have some interesting views about Western Medicine. It will take my entire blog-for-the-day to share my deepest feelings about "it" all; so on another day! Remember "this" random thought...

My system is quite simple. I think...

• Identify what's needed. 
• Determine how possible "it" is to get "it" or make "it" happen. 
• Get "it" or get going to get "it" going. 
• Use "it" appropriately and don't waste "it." 
• Keep "it" in stock and share accordingly.

Now, if "I can" just apply/maintain these rules outside of my kitchen. Then I'll really see...

I Am: So Full.

I really am so full. Full of good food prepared at home, which didn't take long. I revisited roasting brussel sprouts this evening and guess what? They came out scrumptiously.

Not only am I full from eating, but I'm also full of hopeful thoughts and possibilities. I enjoyed a relaxing day at home with my youngest daughter who's fighting a cold. I'm so grateful for having the freedom to fulfill where necessary being able to stay home and nurse my child back to wellness.

I'm so full of FAITH. Those closest to me would agree based upon many decisions I've made in my life. I feel a deep sense of knowing, that all "things" through my trust in GOD will be just fine.

So much possibility and potential remains. Hope fills my soul. I feel so wonderfully full! :)

Wednesday Waste. Not.

I'm so very proud of the macaroni salad that I made this week. Last week I baked macaroni and cheese as a side for our supper, but I boiled too many noodles. I decided to save them for "something" later during the week.

Last Friday for an early lunch I went to a "Signature Ralph's" grocery store. The buffet station was freshly prepared and the pasta looked so tasty. I enjoyed the crab salad and rotini pasta, but while I did, I thought quietly... I can make this easily at home.

When I opened the refrigerator on Monday morning the first "thing" I saw was those extra elbow noodles from last week. My first thought was to trash "it," but I remembered how good the pasta from Ralph's tasted. Yes. I tossed those noodles all right... with a few other key ingredients and made a delicious macaroni salad.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with those old noodles. Laughing out loud. I prepared two different dishes, which served one simple purpose: Healthy nourishment for my family on two separate occasions! 

I am striving to make the most of "everything!" 

We Beat! The Rain.

We went grocery shopping today. As usual, I purchased a whole lot more than planned. As I was putting groceries into the car "it" began to sprinkle. I told my children that we needed to get home before the predicted storm arrived...

I hadn't planned on getting "everything." Although, I didn't resist filling the grocery basket to full capacity nor did I reject many of my daughters special requests. We all got most of what we wanted.


A funny "thing" occurred after we put everything away once we got home. I was in my room thinking about what I wanted to include within today's blog. It had "to do" with an obstacle my family overcame a few years ago.

I remember when I used to buy a bag of ice everyday for months. I needed it to refill the ice chest that we were using as a refrigerator in our previous residence when we first moved in. We did have a compact fridge, but it could only hold about 1 gallon of milk, 1/2 gallon of orange juice, 1 carton of eggs, a small package of cheese, and whatever else I could squeeze inside without keeping the door from closing completely.

We still had everything that we needed regardless. It was quite inconvenient not having a full-sized refrigerator, but we made "it" work. Just being able was enough and still is.

When I came out of my room my eldest daughter asked me if I remembered when we had that ice chest. I laughed and asked her why did she ask me "that" because I literally, was reminiscing about the very same "thing" just seconds before. We were both tickled at thought, but Holy wow!!! I almost couldn't believe "it."

I don't know what triggered my daughter's recollection. I was simply thinking about how grateful I am for where we are today. The refrigerator we have now is big and was bought new. It holds everything extra. We no longer buy bags of ice because we have ice trays and can make our own at our leisure. We even got home and unloaded all the groceries from the car without getting soaked.

I THANK GOD!!! HE continues to make us more able...

Valentine's Day. Blues.

I can't stand Valentine's Day. There aren't many Valentine's Days that stick out as being memorable or special in any way to me. I've received cards, flowers and "things" on LOVEs-day so what's my problem?

I'm not and haven't been in a serious intimate relationship for quite some time for starters. Secondly, I can't say that I currently share a mutual significant "anything" with anyone special. Perhaps, not being the special lady to someone or having someone who I deem as being special to me; is the underlying reason for my dislike towards Valentine's Day.

Until then, I think that I wont ever like/appreciate Valentine's Day for what "it" is. The vendors: My goodness they make my eyes hurt seeing nearly every corner occupied with their various gifts for sale. I'm almost sure they'll be out selling all "this" week, over the weekend, and probably a day or two after Valentine's Day is over...

I decided to blog about it today because I'm sure I'll be onto "something" more interesting when LOVEs-day gets here. Aside from that, I surely don't want to be responsible for dampening anyones happy/loving feelings about Valentine's Day. Especially not on the day of, or even the week during... Getting "it" off my chest now! 

Kiss "it" cupid! Your aim has been way off one time too many. I know: GOD LOVES me!!!

24/7+365/1(absolutely)-(conditions)=Eternal LOVE

HIS LOVE outweighs/outlasts ALL!!!

As I. Was Saying...

After moving from Lancaster back home to the "big city" another cousin and I became roomates. We lived in Hawthorne, California in 1997. We shared a 2-bedroom, 2 bath apartment until I convinced her to move with me to Lawndale later that year.

We moved into a two-story townhouse that my GODsister rented to us. My cousin was right. We were fine living Hawthorne.

I found out that I was pregnant with my eldest daughter while living in Lawndale. My daughter came home from the hospital to her grandmother's house, which is where I lived during the last trimester of my pregnacy. It felt like we were going to be there forever...

An opportunity to regain my indepence came along. My friend's aunt had an extra bedroom and needed someone to be there in the home nightly. Her place wasn't too far from my mother's home and I was more than glad to accept the offer. We lived there for almost 1-year.

I finally got my own place as a mother. It was a 2-bedroom, 1 bath lower unit duplex in beautiful Altadena, California, just below the mountains. I loved "it" there, but between school and work, we were hardly home together to enjoy our peaceful abode.

In 2005, I found out that I was pregnant with my second child. I moved back home with my mother in Los Angeles to regroup for a short while. By my second trimester of this pregnancy my daughter and I had moved in with my bestfriend and her family in Inglewood. THANK GOD!!! Nearing my third trimester, I was approved to move into a 1 1/2 bedroom apartment in Downtown, Los Angeles, where my youngest daughter came home from the hospital to. It was a 1 1/2 bedroom apartment. The layout was weird. Laughing to myself...

We had a 6-month lease for the apartment downtown. When it ended all 3 of us moved back home with my mother again to regroup for a short while. THANK GOD!!! We only lived there for about 2-months when I got an approval to move into a 2-bedroom, 1 bath 4-plex near the Slauson Swapmeet in Los Angeles.

I made a desparate move into that place. The first time I saw the inside of the apartment was when I brought the landlord the move-in money. Shame on me for "that" one! I will admit, that I really moved too fast making "that" decision.

After nearly 8-months living there... I reached my limit. I accepted an offer to move-in with my playbrother. He was so kind to allow us to invade his space for 6-months. From there we moved in with my bff and her family again for just a few weeks until I was approved to move into a single with my daughters in Midtown, L.A. I remember the exact date that we moved there: Nov. 5, 2007.

On Feb. 1st 2011 we got the keys to where we live now!!! THANK GOD!!! YES.

So. It's Leap Year!

Yesterday, marks the first day in my blog history where I missed publishing one of my daily (weekday) posts. Of all days, this happened on a Wednesday. Oh my goodness, right? Well, it's okay considering there's one extra day this month I suppose. I'll still have 5 published posts for this week.

Facing the fact that I've missed a day this week isn't as bad as I imagined. I thought if "this" occurred, that I'd feel very disappointed in myself. Why did I think that?

Perhaps, it's because I've grown high expectations with my commitment to writing "this" blog. I have to remember to give myself credit when I've earned "it." My blogging efforts were not in vain yesterday and "I can" probably use another day to finish expressing what I began for Wednesday's blog.

So, I'm over "it." I am not in control of all "things." GOD IS!!! 

Going on with my day today. LORD willing, I'll continue with yesterday's story on tomorrow. I'm glad that I'm not feeling guilty about the mishap. "I can" now move forward comfortably as I should. Moving right along!

I THANK GOD for yesterday and today, but can only pray that I'm blessed with tomorrow!!!

One Year Later...

Today marks our 1-year Anniversary living where we reside now. Wow, how the time has flown. I kind of still feel like we just moved in.

GOD IS GREAT!!! ALL the time!!! YES HE IS!!! 

My very first kiss suggested a blog topic for me today. For your nosiness: We were in the 4th grade and it took place in a tree. His suggestion was, that I blog about myself from past to present.

Well, strangely before receiving his suggestion, I was considering all the places I've lived up until now. My very first apartment was located in Hawthorne, California. I was 18-years old and I allowed my cousin to live with me towards the end of my 1-year lease. From there, I wanted to do BIG "things" and applied for a  2-bedroom, 1 1/2 bath (with sauna indoors) apartment in Hollywood.  I was approved to move there.

On the morning that we were to move-in, I decided that I had made a mistake and wanted to opt-out of the rental agreement. For some reason it felt like I was about to endanger us by moving in that upscale apartment nor was I financially suited to comfortably handle the expected overhead. I ended up losing half of the move-in money behind "this" decision. My cousin had to find somewhere to live and I moved back home with my mother to regroup for while.

The next place I moved into was a rear bachelor home. Would you believe it was the childhood home of hip-hop superstar,  "The Game"? His mother was a former employer of mine who was kind enough to allow me to rent from her. He was a teenager at the time and I barely ever saw him at home, but I did drive his Peugeot a few times with his mother's permission.

I then moved to Lancaster, California with my first love from high school. We shared a 2-bedroom, 1 bath home, but I was hardly ever there. I couldn't stay away from Los Angeles and after a short while, I realized that it was better for me to move back to the "big city" so I did.