Nineteen Years Ago. "This" Date.

I was 19-years old. I almost accidentally checked out of life due to personal lack of self-control and rage during a moment... which eventually passed. The experience changed me. I'll have to say for the better. Had I not gone through suffering the consequences of such behavior "that" day; there's no telling what today for me, would be.

"It" may have been around "this" very hour on March 11, 1997. I remember waking up in the intensive care unit at Daniel Freeman Memorial Hospital, hooked up to monitors with my family surrounded around me. I remember exactly what my mother and brother said to me. My mom said, that I had been in surgery a long time. My brother asked me who was involved and told me he would go blow up the spot...

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Time really does fly by.

 I love & miss them... They each equipped me with the strength and courage to stand. As I do now.  

Life checked me.

GOD Saved Me!!!

#LessonsLearned

*Daniel Freeman Memorial Hospital's emergency staff were on task, highly-skilled in their medical professions and helped to save my life. They also helped me give birth to new life and assisted with saving hers. How could a place like "this" close?

It's all about the money.

So I'm... Finally back!

Before I explain why I abandoned my blog for so long I need to write a letter to my present self...

"Appearance can be deceitful."

Dear Ms. Lampkin,

     I love you and I miss you living within the present. You don't have to continue recycling old thoughts, stressing about your future, nor do you have to feel guilty about the total woman you are now. Rid yourself completely from acting off of the influence of others. Be very careful with whom and where you lend your time and how you spend your hard earned income. You are special. Not everyone is worthy of your personal attention, affection and time. I know you've felt bad about that, but no more.

     GOD has blessed you with two beautiful daughters whom your influence directly impacts. Focus more on what they need from you versus the world.They're intelligent and respectable young ladies who believe in and love their mom. Embrace that with each passing moment. They're growing up quickly and there's no reversing the chronological order of age.

     You are more than just okay. You're awesome! Make yourself remember that daily by the moment. Time isn't getting ahead of you. Your thoughts are, so slow down and turn all that thinking into action. "We're on information overload," says your brain cells. There's nothing more you need to do to prove to yourself or anyone else how intelligent you are. Overtime you've become a wonderful actress... (giggling to myself).

Remember some of your best roles?

• Happy mom: You put on your best face most days for your children regardless how you really feel.

• Caring daughter: You show concern for your mom even though she's your most challenging person to deal with.

• Sweet niece: You are available to your aunts and uncle when they call upon you and you show up with glee.

• Fun cousin: You bring the entertainment by simply being you.

• Best friend: Your inner circle knows you as a rock, someone trustworthy and truly there when needed.

• Employee: You carry yourself with such professionalism people believe you're in a position of authority and rely upon your due diligence in every area.

• BPT Editor: You use your education and skills to create awareness and to highlight relevant information to the entire congregation. 

• Single woman: You stand strong against all odds and can depend on yourself.

• Inner little girl: You possess a sweet innocence untainted by your adult experiences.

• Human: You care about ALL mankind and naturally interact well with all cultures. 

Please promise to never again forget who you are and all the greatness within you. Also, be willing to share and open yourself to new interactions and possibilities. You've got precaution down to a science and you don't have to fear or worry about ANYTHING. GOD has you. He always has. You know this, now live and own it!!!

Love Always,

Your True Self

Teach Me. Young One.

I just witnessed the best school talent show I've ever seen! My daughter was a performer in a group with two of her friends and guess what? They won!!! I am so proud at this moment.

Not only does my eldest daughter continue to blossom and surprise me, my big girl takes care of business. Seeing how passionate she is about the things that are important to her inspires me. She is diligent when it comes to completing her school assignments and rehearsing for a performance.

I admire how she's coming out of her shell. I've often referenced her as being my shy side (personality-wise) to the extreme. When she was younger, I was concerned that her timid nature would prevent her from taking advantage of opportunities. She's sure showing me!

When she was in about the 3rd grade, we had an interesting conversation that left us both upset after it ended. She had a talent show at her school that she didn't want me to attend. It hurt my feelings that she was so serious. I didn't get it. I couldn't understand why my desire to go didn't excite and encourage her.

She explained to me then, that if I went to her talent show she'd be more nervous and not do well. That made me angry. I must've went on for an hour about how I'm her mother and there will be times when I'll have to be present as her guardian and on and on...

I did not go to that talent show. In fact, I never really used to see her perform at home. Of course I knew my baby had rhythm because she had to "get it from her mama," but she wasn't a "look what I can do" kind of kid. She was and still is mellow for the most part.

It wasn't until last year that I was honored to see my baby shine. This occurred in public at the Westfield Shopping Center. There was an open casting call for American Mall Model Search, that she wanted to audition for. The evening we went my youngest daughter had fallen asleep in the car and I thought twice about taking my big girl.

Simply because I didn't think she would represent. I was tired too and I almost drove us straight home. A voice said to me "are you really going to disregard her little hearts passion right now?" It made me feel like I wasn't being supportive of my baby. My first born.

Both of my girls auditioned. My big girl was chosen to come back. Of course, after the shenanigans (time+money&catch= no guaranteed future opportunities) we returned for the talent show finale. I was blown away by my daughters dance number. I didn't even know she could move like that.

Watch this... ;)

My daughter is working with a whole lot. Both of my girls are. One fortunate mom I am. I know that I have my work cut out rearing them properly. Never again ever, will I doubt the possibilities of the future especially in the respects of my children.

CHECK THIS: If we (ADULTS) don't support our youth (especially our own) while they display positive growth as they develop into confident adults, WHO WILL?

I'm loving the many lessons I experience raising my children.