Getting Very Busy!

I don't really have time to be here today.

Nineteen Years Ago. "This" Date.

I was 19-years old. I almost accidentally checked out of life due to personal lack of self-control and rage during a moment... which eventually passed. The experience changed me. I'll have to say for the better. Had I not gone through suffering the consequences of such behavior "that" day; there's no telling what today for me, would be.

"It" may have been around "this" very hour on March 11, 1997. I remember waking up in the intensive care unit at Daniel Freeman Memorial Hospital, hooked up to monitors with my family surrounded around me. I remember exactly what my mother and brother said to me. My mom said, that I had been in surgery a long time. My brother asked me who was involved and told me he would go blow up the spot...

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Time really does fly by.

 I love & miss them... They each equipped me with the strength and courage to stand. As I do now.  

Life checked me.

GOD Saved Me!!!

#LessonsLearned

*Daniel Freeman Memorial Hospital's emergency staff were on task, highly-skilled in their medical professions and helped to save my life. They also helped me give birth to new life and assisted with saving hers. How could a place like "this" close?

It's all about the money.

Golden Hearted. Lizzy-Wizzy.

I sometimes feel, that I'm unworthy of her friendship. She's so patient and understanding with me. We met 21-years ago. Who would've ever known, that we'd still be so relevant in each other's lives currently, today? No one, but GOD!!!

"This" lovely friend of mine has a golden heart. We have never argued. Debated; respectfully, but never have we crossed over the line into disrespect throughout our entire friendship. There's just "something" special about my Lizzy-Wizzy. I recognized "this" long ago and I protect her from my wrath when I'm experiencing challenging moments.

She probably feels a little excluded from my life at times, but she knows the truth. Having a friend whom knows me inside/out, but never places any judgement upon me or competes in our friendship helps me be more accountable of my actions or those lacking.

We both are GODmothers to our daughters. She has three and I have my two. I became a mom first, then she, then me again, then her again and again. Surprisingly, she gave birth to a third baby girl. No third birth for me and seeing her having to prioritize/manage her time with/between all of my GODdaughters further solidifies my choice to be done with having babies.

My Lizzy-Wizzy is one of the best mother's I know. I always knew she'd be a great mom, but her life actually, as a mom supersedes most of my best expectations. Did I mention how patient she is? I should take several notes because I've witnessed firsthand, how calmly she reacts in pinched moments. There's a level of cool, that doesn't escape her being; ever.

Tear-jerking share: I was a bit out of it when my mother first passed away. I don't know why, but I immediately began sending texts informing people. Lizzy-Wizzy was one. I don't know how she got to me so quickly, but she walked right into that hospital room and brought me comfort in one of the most life-changing awkward moments of my life. I believe she rushed off enroute to me at the end of one of her daughter's graduations.

Talk about a friend... I'm so blessed having "this" beauty to refer to as one of my bests. How she puts up with me; only GOD knows, but I love her beyond words!!! Thank you, LORD for allowing us to cross paths and keeping us close!!! 

Even when we're not communicating regularly. "That" doesn't change a "thing."

Loving People. Lovely Faces.

My Peeps. My Folks. My Day One's. My Love's. My Family. Most of them, anyway!

My Big Girl!!!

My GODmother!!!

My DawnGunn Dizzle!!!

My Playbro!!!

My Lizzy Whizzy!!!

My GODsister Poom!!!

My Baby Girl!!!

My GODsister Kaysh!!!

My Favorite Cousin & Real-Life Black China Doll!!!

Taking a risk here...I might get told off for "this" and be forced to remove it. We'll see...lol!

My Black History: Day 2

I am proud to be a strong Black woman. It's taken me years to fully accept where I come from and how I was raised. In fact, I'm still settling into the total person I've grown into.

My mother moved our family all around Los Angeles. We were never homeless, however, we lived in predominantly, all Black and Mexican neighborhoods where we witnessed not only homelessness, but prostitution, heavy gang activity, and all sorts of misfortune. In these same neighborhoods, is where we also observed several miracles and gained roots of incomparable strength to live/thrive among "the survival of the fittest." 

To be blunt about "it" I was raised in the ghetto.

I had the best childhood outside of my home. My childhood friends also agree that we experienced some of our best memories growing up in the ghetto or what's commonly now referred to as, the hood. Now, when I was a little girl growing up in these highly disadvantaged neighborhoods, I didn't know there was an identifier-label placed upon our communities by outsiders and insiders who moved out, then chose to forget where they originally came from. 

Not all, but many insiders are ashamed of their upbringing and sugar-coat or flat-out lie about how/where they were raised. Outsiders usually speak from ignorance and fear when making derogatory statements about Black people from the hood or the hood, itself. 

I had an insider experience during my middle-school years. For the second half of my 7th grade year, my mother got a permit to transfer from the school district because she worked at the Veteran's Administration Memorial Center (VAMC) in West Los Angeles, which enabled my way out of the hood (for at least 8 hours during the week), while I was fighting often and being threatened daily at my home school. My brother experienced something similar during his middle-school years and when my mother didn't take action; he did, by joining a gang in order to have a support group when he was being threatened and jumped on by other gang members. I may have followed suit had I been forced to remain in my home school without any other options.

Thank GOD for His Holy intervention!!!

The new school was so different from my home school. The campus was clean. It was a diverse group of students. Here, is where I first remember interacting with kids whom were born in several different countries and spoke various languages. The competition between our egos was more about intellect than appearance.

Truth be told, I probably appeared like I lived in and came from the hood based upon my demeanor. I recall feeling embarrassed sometimes about where I lived versus my classmates. Some of my friends rode the school bus home to their neighborhoods on the westside. Back then, I so badly wanted to be a "westside-girl." A westside Black girl. Why?

Well, most of them were bourgeoisie. They lived in cleaner neighborhoods and had bigger homes with their own bedrooms; some had their own bathrooms. Their parents were married or divorced and many had relationships with their fathers. They were involved in extracurricular/social activities outside of school and home. I thought they had "it" made and "that" caused me to experience some moments of envy. 

Self-criticism and unfair comparisons about my family and others began to creep into my thoughts.

I wasn't totally honest about where I really came from with everyone who asked. Shamefully, I'm able to say now, I behaved like the insider who wished she could rewrite her history. "It" is more than satisfying accepting all that contributes towards who I am right now, today.

Gladly, I remember me.

America probably wishes too, that she could go back in time and approach uniting the states and we, as a people, differently.

...To be continued on Day 3.

So I'm... Finally back!

Before I explain why I abandoned my blog for so long I need to write a letter to my present self...

"Appearance can be deceitful."

Dear Ms. Lampkin,

     I love you and I miss you living within the present. You don't have to continue recycling old thoughts, stressing about your future, nor do you have to feel guilty about the total woman you are now. Rid yourself completely from acting off of the influence of others. Be very careful with whom and where you lend your time and how you spend your hard earned income. You are special. Not everyone is worthy of your personal attention, affection and time. I know you've felt bad about that, but no more.

     GOD has blessed you with two beautiful daughters whom your influence directly impacts. Focus more on what they need from you versus the world.They're intelligent and respectable young ladies who believe in and love their mom. Embrace that with each passing moment. They're growing up quickly and there's no reversing the chronological order of age.

     You are more than just okay. You're awesome! Make yourself remember that daily by the moment. Time isn't getting ahead of you. Your thoughts are, so slow down and turn all that thinking into action. "We're on information overload," says your brain cells. There's nothing more you need to do to prove to yourself or anyone else how intelligent you are. Overtime you've become a wonderful actress... (giggling to myself).

Remember some of your best roles?

• Happy mom: You put on your best face most days for your children regardless how you really feel.

• Caring daughter: You show concern for your mom even though she's your most challenging person to deal with.

• Sweet niece: You are available to your aunts and uncle when they call upon you and you show up with glee.

• Fun cousin: You bring the entertainment by simply being you.

• Best friend: Your inner circle knows you as a rock, someone trustworthy and truly there when needed.

• Employee: You carry yourself with such professionalism people believe you're in a position of authority and rely upon your due diligence in every area.

• BPT Editor: You use your education and skills to create awareness and to highlight relevant information to the entire congregation. 

• Single woman: You stand strong against all odds and can depend on yourself.

• Inner little girl: You possess a sweet innocence untainted by your adult experiences.

• Human: You care about ALL mankind and naturally interact well with all cultures. 

Please promise to never again forget who you are and all the greatness within you. Also, be willing to share and open yourself to new interactions and possibilities. You've got precaution down to a science and you don't have to fear or worry about ANYTHING. GOD has you. He always has. You know this, now live and own it!!!

Love Always,

Your True Self

Media Rumors. Why Buy?

I've been web surfing this morning on various news websites and the top headlines are about the passing of singer, Etta James, and Kobe and Vanessa Bryant's divorce property settlement. Another worthy mention; Beyonce' and Jay-Z's newborn. Of these top stories, I have more interest in reading about Etta James.

I'm familiar with her music and I learned more about James from the movie, "Cadillac Records." I can't say that I've taken the time to conduct proper research about her, but her death is newsworthy because she did contribute greatly to the music industry and her song, "At Last" will always be a classic stretching beyond generations. Living 73-years is not bad at all and what a full life she lived.

Kobe and Vanessa's story may be shocking to many, but who really cares about how much she's been awarded from the settlement? Maybe Kobe does. Not only has his "happy family man" image been broken long ago with the scandal he was part of in 2003, but his daughters now have the potential opportunity to have a second dad (stepfather) if Vanessa remarries.

What about Vanessa? She's been living a life of luxury as his wife for more than 10-years. I don't believe it's about the money at all contrary to others beliefs. It's interesting to hear all the hoopla labeling her as a smart gold-digger who knew what she was doing by staying with her husband after the sexual assault controversy. Some people just can't understand why she endured 7-plus more years of being married while Kobe continued to cheat.

It's really not for any of us to know. I'm sure she weighed the pros and cons about her ultimate decision long before putting it into action. As a mother, I'm also pretty sure she came to the conclusion, that she wants to be the best example of a dignified woman for her daughters. I'll bet she considered the "media circus" that's happening now. Isn't it apparent that she's taking a stand for herself?

Two possible considerations by Vanessa...
1) Having to explain to her daughters (in their adulthood) why she stayed in an unfaithful marriage.
2) Having FAITH that life can be more fulfilling by demonstrating her self-respect and personal confidence to Kobe by divorcing him.

Now, about "Blue Ivy Carter." It's sad for celebrities that reach such a high level of fame because from the the perception of the public, nearly everything these famous people do is measured as a performance of some sort. As if they can't do normal "things" like the general public. Are we fans to blame for holding our favorite celebrities to irrational standards offstage or is "it" the fault of the mass media for portraying itself as the visual/auditory truth of all "things" recorded/broadcasted?

I believe that Beyonce did give birth to a baby girl. I wont allow anyone I know to fall prey to the (well-known) negative media attention that haunted Michael Jackson. Yes, he had obvious issues, but don't we all? Aside from what we saw with our own eyes and heard with our own ears about Michael, we were fed information that most of us will never verify through proper research. Beyonce' and Jay Z know the truth to their story so it doesn't really matter what we think.

We can not believe in everything that we see and hear rooted by the mass media. If we are sincere with our interests/concerns about anyone/anything (famous or not) we ought to be willing to do the research and discover the facts before possibly spreading faulty information. Lies don't last forever, but the effects of a lie can be everlasting.

Seek the truth, then tell and shame the enemy!