I remember missing my cycle in 2004. I didn't want to believe "that" I was pregnant because I had just told Mr. Man I didn't want to proceed any further in our relationship. Considering how I had just graduated from Pasadena City College with two Associate degrees and two vocational certifications, I thought the timing of my pregnancy wasn't too bad. Another unplanned, but still a blessing and gift.
Honestly, if I had interest in and wanted to create a new family with Mr. Man I believe he would've sided with me. I concluded, that he wasn't the man for me so I went through "this" pregnancy as a single mother by choice. "It" wasn't such a big deal to me experiencing "this" the second time.
When I told my mother, I remember like yesterday; she said, "How could you be so stupid?" I just replied, "how very rude, well there's no turning back now I'm having another baby and that's 'that'!" Rahbyn became my mother's "roadog" once she was born.
Of course, my youngest daughter would be the one to take me through all the "things" I missed raising my eldest daughter due to all the help I was privy to. Hardly anyone, aside from my mother would babysit Rahbyn because she was and still is, an attention seeking, busy-body, millions of questions-asking, child. There aren't many breaks with "this" one. Laughing within.
Because she possesses my curious personality, I have to keep close watch on her. I also, cannot trust many people to help me with her, because she can be overwhelming to handle at times and I don't want anyone to mistreat her out of frustration. She can be a bit too generous so I curb "that" as best as I can to prevent her from being taken advantage of.
I will admit, that because of the age gap between my daughters they each have to make personal sacrifices in order to keep us united as a family unit. What I mean by "this" is sometimes one can't participate in "something" which the other can and vice-versa. They have age appropriate interests "that" I must balance between. It'll be my youngest and I, once my eldest goes off to college this summer and I'll be able to give her more of my undivided attention.
Rahbyn Marie is an aspiring actress, gymnast, dancer and singer.
Yes, entertaining is what she wants "to do." I've taken some beginning steps to help her reach these goals, but we're on hold while I do what's needed to ensure, that my eldest gets situated in college. I almost need a team or to become a supportive man's wife in order to pursue these acting dreams of hers aggressively because casting agents don't care about short notice nor do they understand my financial struggle and time constraints as a single parent. I'm brainstorming in the meanwhile how we'll approach a second round at "it."
The apple, which is one of her nicknames doesn't fall far from tree regarding intellect. She's much more compassionate than her sister and I. We're all sweet, but she's twice as. A little perfectionist who is also a role model for her peers. She excels academically, is passionate about learning, and likes to help. She's very loving too. I love my babies!!!
I named her Rahbyn because I wanted my children's names to sync and because I'm authentically unique, the spelling of her name is different from the bird name Robin. Yes, she sings too, but currently is more passionate about her acting, gymnastics and dancing. The sky is the limit and my human birds are going to fly high. No doubt. Manifesting!
