Thankful "this" Friday!

Everyday & Always!!!

Seventy. LXIX.

Happy early 70th Birthday Angel Mama!!!!!!!

4/2/1946 - 6/20/2014

The Best Cousin. Quon.

The best cousin I've ever known. Wouldn't trade her for any other.

I love this little petite, chocolate, real-life china doll so much!!! She has a warrior's spirit and is the most self-encouraging person I know. When she's ready to share her own personal story she will. I can't rob her of the opportunity so I'll only share what she means to me. 

We met when we were in junior high school. She and her sister were pretty popular there. Quon embraced me immediately and we soon became inseparable. "This" woman has had my back since day one. Although, most of my upbringing has been in the hood, I was still quite naive in some areas, which made me very susceptible to becoming victimized by nonsense.

I had already experienced being bullied heavily and fights were waiting on me at "this" school. Quon inspired a great amount of bravery in my being. To stand tough on my own wasn't really my issue. Standing up against the negativity of the masses is where I faced some challenges and here, is where my cousin demonstrated a high level of concern for my well-being. 

As small as she was then, she had a mouth "that" spit fire like a dragon and no one would persistently bother her. I can't fail to mention how quickly her sister, my cousin Missy was to fight to defend her big-tiny sister. Kids from their neighborhood knew better than to mess with these two sisters and when they took me in, folks knew who I was related to so they didn't bother me either. Much of my own street-cred I owe to my big brother and cousins, Quon and Missy.

To date, she is still "something" like a warrior. She commands respect and gets "it." I recall a time when we were roommates and I couldn't get her to do what I wanted so we had a heated arguement. "It" escalated to the point where I felt we were better off going our separate ways and we did; for many years. Her forgiving heart led her to reach out to me by visiting my mother when she was alive. I was so stubborn, that I didn't acknowledge her efforts for a few more unnecessary years. 

I need my cousin in my life. I know "this" now more than ever. She is a rock. My rock solid family member. She accepts me with all of my flaws and doesn't mind sharing her opinion even if it makes me steaming mad. Laughing within. Through our relationship I've learned how to let go much better. I recover from being upset much quicker these days thanks to my beautiful cousin. I've seen how she does "it" and how much happier "it" makes her to move forward beyond offenses without holding a grudge against those "that" matter to her. She really is a real person. Like it or not, Quon is true to her person and does not live life as a phony made up character.

The LORD blessed me with "this" walking miracle to remain present in my life. Through her I see a whole lot of myself. We have matured into independent women together and I'm glad "that" Quon still remains relevant in my life.  

My Robin. Human Bird.

The one I was pregnant with, that a cutoff former family member tried to persuade me to terminate and not go through with "it" because she "didn't want me to be a statistic." I'm so glad, that I made up my own mind as I normally do. My baby girl keeps me on my toes because she's my wild child. She's enthusiastic about life, experiences and opportunities.

I remember missing my cycle in 2004. I didn't want to believe "that" I was pregnant because I had just told Mr. Man I didn't want to proceed any further in our relationship. Considering how I had just graduated from Pasadena City College with two Associate degrees and two vocational certifications, I thought the timing of my pregnancy wasn't too bad. Another unplanned, but still a blessing and gift.

Honestly, if I had interest in and wanted to create a new family with Mr. Man I believe he would've sided with me. I concluded, that he wasn't the man for me so I went through "this" pregnancy as a single mother by choice. "It" wasn't such a big deal to me experiencing "this" the second time.

When I told my mother, I remember like yesterday; she said, "How could you be so stupid?" I just replied, "how very rude, well there's no turning back now I'm having another baby and that's 'that'!" Rahbyn became my mother's "roadog" once she was born.

With "this" child of mine is where I learned what real parenting is. I had so much help with my firstborn daughter. When my second came along the help was all, but gone. The lifetime babysitter I thought I'd have around to help me raise 20 kids if I had them, passed away when I was 6-months pregnant. The LORD showed me how I had taken Ms. Mary for granted and "that" would be no more.

Of course, my youngest daughter would be the one to take me through all the "things" I missed raising my eldest daughter due to all the help I was privy to. Hardly anyone, aside from my mother would babysit Rahbyn because she was and still is, an attention seeking, busy-body, millions of questions-asking, child. There aren't many breaks with "this" one. Laughing within.

Because she possesses my curious personality, I have to keep close watch on her. I also, cannot trust many people to help me with her, because she can be overwhelming to handle at times and I don't want anyone to mistreat her out of frustration. She can be a bit too generous so I curb "that" as best as I can to prevent her from being taken advantage of.

I will admit, that because of the age gap between my daughters they each have to make personal sacrifices in order to keep us united as a family unit. What I mean by "this" is sometimes one can't participate in "something" which the other can and vice-versa. They have age appropriate interests "that" I must balance between. It'll be my youngest and I, once my eldest goes off to college this summer and I'll be able to give her more of my undivided attention.

Rahbyn Marie is an aspiring actress, gymnast, dancer and singer. 

Yes, entertaining is what she wants "to do." I've taken some beginning steps to help her reach these goals, but we're on hold while I do what's needed to ensure, that my eldest gets situated in college. I almost need a team or to become a supportive man's wife in order to pursue these acting dreams of hers aggressively because casting agents don't care about short notice nor do they understand my financial struggle and time constraints as a single parent. I'm brainstorming in the meanwhile how we'll approach a second round at "it."

The apple, which is one of her nicknames doesn't fall far from tree regarding intellect. She's much more compassionate than her sister and I. We're all sweet, but she's twice as. A little perfectionist who is also a role model for her peers. She excels academically, is passionate about learning, and likes to help. She's very loving too. I love my babies!!!

I named her Rahbyn because I wanted my children's names to sync and because I'm authentically unique, the spelling of her name is different from the bird name Robin. Yes, she sings too, but currently is more passionate about her acting, gymnastics and dancing. The sky is the limit and my human birds are going to fly high. No doubt. Manifesting!

All About. Mine.

"This" week "it" will be all about my daughters. My blogging "that" is. These two keep me busy.

My girls at the WGSACs Miles' Davis Exhibit.

Me and my lovelies!!!

Reflective Soul. Freny Azzy!!!

We have so much in common. Our approach to our home-life, work-life, and how we deal with men is quite similar. My friend Azzy is so much more than just my friend. I've adopted her as my sister. We share a mutual understanding about our friendship and respect "it" at all times.

We don't always agree and we speak bluntly to one another about our opinions/advice. I treasure being able to communicate openly and honestly, like "this." Not everyone's skin is thick enough to handle the bold truth, but Azzy and I can.

She was raised by both parents and is a mother to four boys; well, two are men now. Her mother told me, that she was spoiled rotten as a child by her father and is still a brat today. Laughing out loud.

She's a stubborn Taurus indeed! I've learned to accept her "no's" and to move on without getting frustrated because I couldn't persuade her otherwise. I've fussed at her time and time again, as she has also, fussed me down to the core. We are very much like sisters because we always work through our differences together.

"It" is safe to say, that we want to be in one another's lives because we both take the time putting our best efforts forth nourishing our relationship as friendsters. I love her so much and I'm blessed having her presence in my life!!!

I have yet to mention how brilliant she is. She speaks three different languages; American English, Spanglish/Spanish, and Creole. Her father taught her how to change the oil and tires on cars. She showed me the old-school way of securely discarding sensitive documents by throwing the excess paperwork in a barbecue pit and simply, setting it on fire. She forces me out of my comfort zone, which is sometimes necessary in order for me to stretch my capabilities. She's my rock.

Azzy is the fashionista of the bunch. She's brand conscious and always talking about my personal style of dress. We have a current bet going to see who'll reach their best level of fitness first by June 1. I plan to win. I'm going to beat her by incorporating a last minute crash course diet and power fitness regimen; sometime "this" month... Or even next month, while she takes the slow approach, battling with the daily pressures of temptation. Laughing within.

She keeps the fire lit beneath me. A constant reminder for me to present myself as my best self no matter what. She doesn't agree with me to please me and I need "that." Through her I see more of myself. Some sides needing more improvement and in other areas where I shouldn't neglect myself.

My Azzy can be a little mean, but so can I so I'm not at all judging. I love her as she is and I'm keeping her as my friendster forever. She is like a mirror to me and I've designated her as my life coach. Together, we're becoming stronger women, leading examples of how to run a household, and remaining success driven.

Golden Hearted. Lizzy-Wizzy.

I sometimes feel, that I'm unworthy of her friendship. She's so patient and understanding with me. We met 21-years ago. Who would've ever known, that we'd still be so relevant in each other's lives currently, today? No one, but GOD!!!

"This" lovely friend of mine has a golden heart. We have never argued. Debated; respectfully, but never have we crossed over the line into disrespect throughout our entire friendship. There's just "something" special about my Lizzy-Wizzy. I recognized "this" long ago and I protect her from my wrath when I'm experiencing challenging moments.

She probably feels a little excluded from my life at times, but she knows the truth. Having a friend whom knows me inside/out, but never places any judgement upon me or competes in our friendship helps me be more accountable of my actions or those lacking.

We both are GODmothers to our daughters. She has three and I have my two. I became a mom first, then she, then me again, then her again and again. Surprisingly, she gave birth to a third baby girl. No third birth for me and seeing her having to prioritize/manage her time with/between all of my GODdaughters further solidifies my choice to be done with having babies.

My Lizzy-Wizzy is one of the best mother's I know. I always knew she'd be a great mom, but her life actually, as a mom supersedes most of my best expectations. Did I mention how patient she is? I should take several notes because I've witnessed firsthand, how calmly she reacts in pinched moments. There's a level of cool, that doesn't escape her being; ever.

Tear-jerking share: I was a bit out of it when my mother first passed away. I don't know why, but I immediately began sending texts informing people. Lizzy-Wizzy was one. I don't know how she got to me so quickly, but she walked right into that hospital room and brought me comfort in one of the most life-changing awkward moments of my life. I believe she rushed off enroute to me at the end of one of her daughter's graduations.

Talk about a friend... I'm so blessed having "this" beauty to refer to as one of my bests. How she puts up with me; only GOD knows, but I love her beyond words!!! Thank you, LORD for allowing us to cross paths and keeping us close!!! 

Even when we're not communicating regularly. "That" doesn't change a "thing."

Spirit Food. Mr. CJ.

My playbrother is like a real brother, but seeing how I only had one biological brother whom was killed in 2003; I never want anyone to mistake either and I'll always keep my brother's memory alive by making mention of him.

There's an inside joke amongst those in my circle. They say, CJ and I are going to end up together. Laughing out loud and within. We know one another quite well, which is why I think it's pretty hilarious, that since we've been friends for so long other's think we should just "hook up" and become a couple. Neither of us would even consider jeopordizing our friendship on any attempt at becoming a couple.

CJ and I are exactly what the LORD wants us to be; friends. We share an honest friendship and a divine kinship. I learn a whole lot from him regarding the male perspective and he learns much about women through my personal insights. He has two younger sisters he grew up with so I take on the big sister role with him, although we're the exact same age; probably hours and minutes apart. We also share the same exact birthdate.

Aside from CJ being one of my most reliable friends, there are some milestones in my life where his presence will forever remain irreplaceable. He has a lifetime freedom pass into my life and he's definitely a VIP. I can't name every time or each occurrence where he's been dependable for not just me, but for my family as well because he's been here for me and my girls through almost everything.

He visited me in the hospital both times I gave birth. My daughters truly value him as their uncle. Every event we've invited him to, he attends. He's even surprised us with tickets to various outtings and performances. I can always count on him for a small loan when neeeded and he doesn't sweat me about the payback. He is listed as an emergency contact at both of my daughters' schools. By every account, he is my bestfriend, but I'm also very fortunate to count on him as my playbrother. He's the little brother I never had growing up and I love him just as he is!

Sidenote: He's a good man. One day he'll make a great husband and father to his own family. He loves the LORD with all of his heart and his daily actions are based upon "this" truth. Only GOD can fill him with the patience and understanding necessary to be categorized as a VIP in my life. I'm thankful, "that" he allows his cup to be filled with the Holy Spirit and for his willingness to deliver whatever/however accordingly.

I'm so blessed having him as a spiritual brother and to count on him as my friend. CJ is star in my world. I will cherish our friendship forever. 

#FACT

My Black History: Day 14.

I don't watch much television, but I have a couple of series that I follow on the OWN cable channel, executive produced by Tyler Perry. 

"The Haves and the Have Nots"

"If Loving You is Wrong"

I really like "Love Thy Neighbor" too, but I've missed quite a few episodes.

Welcome to my Black Present.

My Black History: Day 11.

It's said, that children mimic their parents behavior. Well, I definitely did with the status that my family makeup represents. Single Black mothers with two children from two different men. 

Easily categorized as just a statistic, but I know we're so much more than just "that." 

Mama and her two kids.

Me and mine.

We are GODs gifts and life is a gift HE gave to us!!!

My Black History: Day 10.

I'm so glad that I didn't miss "this" moment with my mother. It was her retirement party at work.

I certainly miss her physical presence now...

Thank you LORD for blessing me with a mother who did her best raising me and my brother!!!

 Kiss him for me. 

Fabulous Friday in Los Angeles!

Isn't it? 

We lived to see the ending of "this" week and surely, have accomplished some "things." 

Consider how many others who haven't... 

Count your blessings and enjoy the weekend! 

Such. A LOVELY Day!!!

THANK YOU JESUS!!!