Seventy. LXIX.

Happy early 70th Birthday Angel Mama!!!!!!!

4/2/1946 - 6/20/2014

Miss Maysha. She Woman.

Last, but definitely not least. My childhood BFF Maysha and I live on a rollercoaster within our friendship. At times, we're up, then we're going in circles and sometimes we crash. There's a bond which exists between us "that" neither of us can deny. We've experienced a whole lot together and we've also missed some beats in one another's lives.

She's beautiful and a pretty incredible woman. A mother to five children, but three are now adults. Her ability to persevere through challenging situations if a force to acknowledge. Of course, I can't rob her of the opportunity to share her own story so I'm sparing no personal details, however, I will share what she's meant to me and why she remains relevant in my life.

We've practically raised our children together. They share social networks and respect one another like family. We experienced our last pregnancies together and our daughters spent nearly every day of the first year of their lives together.

Growing up we were partners in crime. She'd tell her family she was at my house and I'd tell my mother I was down the street at her's, while we were blocks away flirting with older boys. We would call ourselves chocolate and vanilla.

I genuinely love my Maysha regardless what we've been through. Whether we're up or down, still I pray for her and her family. Not too long ago we were on an off-spell, but when she found out my mother passed away she came to check on me. In person. Being the loving, compassionate woman that she is, "it" wasn't a second thought to make sure I was ok under the circumstances.

I remember when I had my first daughter I couldn't seem to find a caring and safe babysitter to watch her while I worked nights. Even though Maysha had a housefull, she still extended help and kept my daughter for me on several occasions. My daughter would always spit up after a feeding and "it" took a whole lot more than just dabbing away the mess. She would have to change my daughters clothes, get her settled and calm again. Then she'd have to mop up the vomit. Would you know "this" phenomenal woman didn't complain once? Unbelievable, because I could hardly handle "this" from my own baby.

Maysha had to become a woman long before her mind and body was developed into one. She remains hopeful and determined, while putting forth her best efforts to create a comfortable lifestyle for her family. Her eldest son is now a father so she's a glamma (her word). Laughing out loud.

I must mention all the whoopla we cause when we go out in public together. Being single and liking to mingle is an understatement when we hit the town. Good "thing" we've been so busy attempting to readjust our lifestyles, "that" we haven't gone out in years, but I feel an itch coming on and she's mentioned "that" we're long overdue so "this" summer better watch out.

What we share in common most now is the lense we view our families from. Unfortunate, but a reality which we both have had to come to grips with. The first step towards our healing is acknowledgement. The second; taking positive action to make a difference in our own little families consisting of our children and circles of true friendship.

#GODain'tdonewithUSyetbetterasksomebody!

The Best Cousin. Quon.

The best cousin I've ever known. Wouldn't trade her for any other.

I love this little petite, chocolate, real-life china doll so much!!! She has a warrior's spirit and is the most self-encouraging person I know. When she's ready to share her own personal story she will. I can't rob her of the opportunity so I'll only share what she means to me. 

We met when we were in junior high school. She and her sister were pretty popular there. Quon embraced me immediately and we soon became inseparable. "This" woman has had my back since day one. Although, most of my upbringing has been in the hood, I was still quite naive in some areas, which made me very susceptible to becoming victimized by nonsense.

I had already experienced being bullied heavily and fights were waiting on me at "this" school. Quon inspired a great amount of bravery in my being. To stand tough on my own wasn't really my issue. Standing up against the negativity of the masses is where I faced some challenges and here, is where my cousin demonstrated a high level of concern for my well-being. 

As small as she was then, she had a mouth "that" spit fire like a dragon and no one would persistently bother her. I can't fail to mention how quickly her sister, my cousin Missy was to fight to defend her big-tiny sister. Kids from their neighborhood knew better than to mess with these two sisters and when they took me in, folks knew who I was related to so they didn't bother me either. Much of my own street-cred I owe to my big brother and cousins, Quon and Missy.

To date, she is still "something" like a warrior. She commands respect and gets "it." I recall a time when we were roommates and I couldn't get her to do what I wanted so we had a heated arguement. "It" escalated to the point where I felt we were better off going our separate ways and we did; for many years. Her forgiving heart led her to reach out to me by visiting my mother when she was alive. I was so stubborn, that I didn't acknowledge her efforts for a few more unnecessary years. 

I need my cousin in my life. I know "this" now more than ever. She is a rock. My rock solid family member. She accepts me with all of my flaws and doesn't mind sharing her opinion even if it makes me steaming mad. Laughing within. Through our relationship I've learned how to let go much better. I recover from being upset much quicker these days thanks to my beautiful cousin. I've seen how she does "it" and how much happier "it" makes her to move forward beyond offenses without holding a grudge against those "that" matter to her. She really is a real person. Like it or not, Quon is true to her person and does not live life as a phony made up character.

The LORD blessed me with "this" walking miracle to remain present in my life. Through her I see a whole lot of myself. We have matured into independent women together and I'm glad "that" Quon still remains relevant in my life.  

My Black History: Day 18.

Welcome to my Black Present...

The night before last I finished watching a documentary on DJ Quik. TV One showcases some of the best documentaries on Black celebrities who haven't received the acclaim they deserve. Unsung, hands-down, educates me so much about many of the artists I'm a fan of.

It includes credible interviews/commentary from their family members, colleagues and close friends. I learn about their upbringing, their influences, some secrets and detailed insights about them as ordinary people. How they became stars isn't the primary focus, but of course, how they began their road to celebrity isn't omitted.

Unsung is one of my other favorite shows to record then catch up to watch when I find the time to sit still long enough "to do" so. 

#BlackEntertainmentResource

My Black History: Day 10.

I'm so glad that I didn't miss "this" moment with my mother. It was her retirement party at work.

I certainly miss her physical presence now...

Thank you LORD for blessing me with a mother who did her best raising me and my brother!!!

 Kiss him for me. 

My Black History: Day 6.

Today, I'm remembering those who've influenced me most, but have gone on to glory.

My Black History: In Memoriam

Granny (My mama's mom) - I was only able to spend 7-years with you before you were called, but I'm forever grateful for the sweet memories, that just don't leave my mind and heart.

Mrs. Smith (6th grade gifted/choir teacher) - I know that love exists in the hood and not everyone stereotypes because you allowed me to be the person GOD designed me to be without judgement.

Spook (My big brother) - I believe in myself and my abilities because you reminded me, that I'm important.

Kristen (My classmate from Pasadena City College) - I can laugh at time because of you. I only knew you for a short period, but you shared some special moments and insights about family with me, that I'll cherish forever.

Mrs. Mary & Jimbo Swift (Caretakers of my eldest daughter/substitute parents) - I was able to pursue my goals of completing college because the two of you allowed me the break from time, that I needed as a young, single-parent trying to build a stable foundation for my little family.

Ma (My biological mother) - I possess the strength you instilled within me and I maintain because you taught me how to survive.

These seven individuals made a huge impact on my life. I remember them everyday. I will forever treasure the stories of our lives together and continue to honor you with thoughtful action. May all of your souls continue to rest peacefully with our Lord, Savior and Father!!!

#MyRockAngels4Life

Still Writing. It's Wednesday!!!

How lovely it is to return here on my favorite day of the week: Wednesday. I can feel the momentum building deeply within me as I get into a new rhythm expressing myself in words. Writing is one of my gifts. One, I've been aware of most of my life, but do I love it?

Well, I do. Although, my former actions haven't really demonstrated a passion for it. Being shamefully-honest, I haven't really demonstrated a true passion for anything consistently, other than proving my righteousness when I'm being challenged or when I'm exerting physical energy.

I was reminded by a recent situation where my eldest daughter and I weren't seeing eye to eye, that my desire to be right and to win can cause more hurt than help in some instances. I had so much to say and so did she.

In our communicative manner addressing the problem, we both knew, that it wasn't helping us come to any resolve during our disagreement. It wasn't until we exchanged some pretty descriptive emails over the following days when I realized, that my daughter had said a whole lot more than I actually heard, while in the heat of our dispute.

As my eldest daughter finishes high school and becomes a legal adult just 5-months from now, there are levels of maturity, that I find necessary to exercise. We both can't be brats, while trying to work through challenges together. Yes, she's almost an adult, but she'll have to experience life as an adult before she can really see life through my lens. Stepping into battles about what life is with my teenage daughter is foolish on my part.

So, I've learned!

To demonstrate is much better than any explanation alone. Blessed with the gift of gab, I can speak to no end about what I feel is right, omitting no details. I've discovered, that a percentage of what I say just will not be remembered. By myself or the listener. I want my words and messages to stick; to remain as Top of Mind Awareness (TOMA) in people, that I speak to. Especially, when I'm talking with my daughters.

It is better, that I write out what I want remembered. The impact of revisiting what I've written prior, is just as effective and personally touching as it was when those words were only thoughts present in my mind. It's a real treasure to reread where I've been, to reminisce on past experiences, and to be reminded about the challenging situations I've overcome.

I have begun the change with the woman in the mirror; being me.

May my Heavenly Father continue to further develop and shape me as a leader in "this" life's journey as I take action "to do" more than just talk about it!!!

Why? Make Sense.

Okay, both sinks; the bathroom and now, the kitchen are clogged. "This" has forced me to call for help. I had no idea that my landlord was on the premises when I was leaving this afternoon to pick my daughters up from school. I told him about the problem and I think we both knew at that moment, that tomorrow might be a better day to deal with the issue.

The bathroom sink has been out of commission for over one week now. I've stopped using it all together and I told my daughters not to use it as well. So, yes ridiculously, we've been washing our hands in the bathtub after using the toilet. Our guests have also been subject to this inconvenience. Why?

Inexcusable. Period.

I know. "Something" so small may now be a bigger plumbing problem because I decided to handle "this" my way by putting "it" off until I felt like dealing with it. I couldn't fix "it" myself, but I chose to ignore it (for a short while); unnecessarily.

So now, no dishes will get washed tonight. We're on a hope and prayer that the toilet and bathtub doesn't back up before the plumber gets here tomorrow. Tomorrow is now dedicated to waiting on the plumber. Shaking my head... I will. I will try harder not to be "this" silly in the future.

I wish I had dealt with "this" already before reaching "this" point!


:/ :/ :/ 




***Note taken to self.